Spacing Out with Captain Kirk

Balancing out this morning's religious coverage, we've found some breaking stories in the Wonderful W orld of Science. First up to bat is an article about William Shatner's new book, titled Star Trek: I'm Working on That: A Trek from Science Fiction to Science Fact. This is Shatner's version of A Brief History of Space and Time, but he's easier to follow than Stephen Hawking. At least, that must be what the publisher was thinking. Here are some pithy quotes from the book in which the author explains how the Enterprise's warp drive engines worked:

• Space is spacious.

• Okay. Fine, you say. I get the picture. The universe is big and things in space are far apart. This is probably why we call it "space," Bill.

• Gene Roddenberry, Star Trek's creator, was a smart guy. So when he looked at the starscape in which he had chosen to set the series, he quickly understood the inherent "spacey-ness" of space.

• But there is a problem with traveling faster than light, and his name is Albert Einstein.

• I had always assumed that the Enterprise's warp engines worked something like a supercharged space shuttle, or, simpler still, a balloon powered by escaping air that made rude noises as it flew around the room.

• All I did was sit in my captain's chair and say, "Yo, Sulu, warp factor two, and don't let the moons of Saturn hit us in the ass as we leave the solar system."

Shatner's a funny guy, and we've always liked him—well, except for that recording he did of Mr. Tambourine Man.

Shrinks Rapped

Psychologists refer to the bond that develops between a child and its primary caregiver as "attachment," and it has been found that when parenting goes awry you get various attachment disorders that manifest themselves in serious ways to the detriment of the child's well-being. So some shrink-types have come up with a number of weird therapies to re-establish the attachment process, although none of these are proven to replicate what goes on during the first few months of childhood. Yesterday, the U.S. House of Congress got involved in this issue by voting unanimously [397-0] on a resolution that condemns "rebirthing" therapy in the hope that states will pass laws banning the practice.

Rebirthing is a therapy used to treat attachment disorder, where adopted children resist forming loving relationships with their new parents. The children are covered in blankets and pillows meant to simulate the womb and are encouraged to push their way out, or emerge "reborn" to bond with their adoptive parents.

Why anybody would think this actually works is beyond me, but some do, and the resolution acknowledges that five children have died recently as a result of this bogus "treatment." We bring this up because of another story breaking today about a Utah couple who killed their 4-year-old adopted daughter.

The girl died after she was allegedly forced to drink large amounts of water as a punishment for sneaking sips of Kool-Aid.

Doesn't the Chinese Water Torture seem a tad extreme for unauthorized Kool-Aid imbibery? In any event, this punishment seems to have been some sort of attachment therapy as well, but so far nobody's coming forward to take responsibility for it. Poor kid.

There's Light at the End of the Tunnel

For years we've been hearing about people coming back from the brink of death and reporting lights, tunnels, seeing their body from above, you know. Because these stories are fairly common, the paranormalists tend to cite them as evidence of the supernatural [cue spooky theme music here].

Researchers at the University Hospitals of Geneva and Lausanne in Switzerland may have found a scientific explanation for the phenomenon. It happened by accident while they were conducting experimental research on epilepsy, and happended to stimulate a part of a patient's brain called the angular gyrus. As soon as they did that, bingo!

When electrical stimulation was applied, the patient reported seeing herself "lying in bed, from above, but I only see my legs and lower trunk." She also described herself as "floating" near the ceiling.

The Raven has actually replicated this research at home, using clinical instruments called "scotch" and "soda."