Monday, November 25, 2002

This is JC’s description of how to make a L’Omelette Roulee, or rolled omelette: “Grasp the handle of the pan with both hands, thumbs on top, and immediately begin jerking the pan vigorously and roughly toward you at an even, 20-degree angle over the heat, one jerk per second… you must have the courage to be rough or the eggs will not loosen themselves from the bottom of the pan.” Anyone who thinks Julia Child is asexual ought to read the above passage.  I won’t tell you what technique this sounded to my husband like a description of – it’s more fun to think of your own, anyway. JC writes: “A simple-minded but perfect way to master the movement is to practice outdoors with half a cupful of dried beans.”  Because this is the Julie/Julia Project, and because simple-minded is my middle name, I did just this.  I went out onto the sidewalk with my not-really-but-very-similar-to-an omelette pan and half a cup of dried cranberry beans.  I lost about half of them on my first attempt.  At just that moment a minivan from Virginia pulled up in front of me.  The driver, obviously seeing that she had spotted someone of good sense and breeding in the person of Julie throwing beans out of a pan onto the sidewalk, wanted to ask me for directions to New Jersey.  “Lady, you are hell and gone from New Jersey,” I wanted to say, but I didn’t.  Instead, I ran inside to get my husband to help.  On the way back down, I grabbed the rest of the bag of beans.  Once the Virginians were sent packing I made a few more attempts.  Eric took pictures.  Teenagers stared, appalled.  Drivers of heavy machinery honked their horns.  Many, many beans scattered all over the ground.  I decided this was a stupid way to practice anyway. I was making the omelettes for a late brunch with Eric and his friend Sari.  While we were waiting for Sari to arrive, and to keep my mind off the imminent disaster of the omelettes, I went ahead with the creamed mushrooms I’d be serving to accompany them.  To make Champignons Sautes a la Crème, sauté some quartered mushrooms in butter and oil for just a few minutes.  Toss in some minced shallots and cook a bit longer, then sprinkle in a couple of teaspoons of flour and cook another 2 minutes or so.  Blend in a cup or so of cream, and some salt and pepper, and boil down rapidly until thick.  Pour in a few tablespoons of Madeira, and boil to evaporate the alcohol.  Just before serving, stir in some softened butter.  These are very, very good – the Madeira gives them just a subtle bit of kick – though, really, do make sure all the alcohol has cooked off.  I tasted a mushroom a few minutes in, and nearly gagged on the alcohol taste.  And I like alcohol.  So Sari came, and I began the omelettes.  I had wanted to wait until she arrived so the omelettes wouldn’t have to sit, but of course the downside to that is that I had an audience for my disaster.  And a disaster it was indeed.  When cooking omelettes the Julia way, everything goes so fast… three omelettes I made, and I never once remembered to add the cheese I had grated and waiting right beside the stove.  The first omelette wasn’t a total nightmare: I didn’t really flip it or anything, and it broke up a little, but it kind of scrunched up at the far edge of the pan, and when I flipped it over onto the plate it looked more or less like an omelette.  The second omelette could not qualify as a success under any circumstances; first it stuck, and then when I flipped harder, the eggs sloshed all over the stove top.  Another flip sent a large portion of the semi-congealed omelette to the floor.  I gave up, flipped the raggedy-ass thing onto a plate, and called it mine.  The third was a sort of middling.  I managed not to spill anything, at least, and it stayed in one piece.  Again, once on the plate, it looked like an omelette, if not the creamy paragon Julia describes. I guess I should keep at this method, try to master it.  Perhaps an omelette pan would help.  Of course part of me wants to go back to the old tried and true method Paul described in his comment awhile back.  But no – I have two more omelettes to go, I’m going to use this as an opportunity to learn a new skill, be a better person. And in the meantime, the mushrooms were good, and I do love an excuse to drink champagne in the daytime. 7:45:25 AM    comment []