Monday, December 09, 2002

Sunday afternoon we trimmed the tree and sipped hot chocolate while our favorite Christmas movie played on the television.  Many say “It’s a Wonderful Life” is the greatest Christmas film ever; there are “Miracle on 34th Street” supporters, and even proponents of the godawful “White Christmas.”  But for Eric and me, it will always be “Die Hard.” Once the tree was finished Eric turned off the movie and put on the John Denver and the Muppets Christmas album (see what I mean about us being the whitest people ever?) while I went into the kitchen to make Coq au Vin.  To the gentleman who so kindly pointed out that “penultimate” refers to the second to last, rather than the last, of a group, I say, again, yes sir, thank you, sir.  Coq au Vin is the ultimate fricassee, the very last, after this I will move on to other poultry adventures.  It is also, of course, the ultimate fricassee, the granddaddy, the classic.  And it’s fun cuz you get to light it on fire. I started with the grunt work, peeling the pearl onions, sautéing the mushrooms, putting the water on to boil for the potatoes.  Then I chopped a half-pound chunk of bacon into lardons a quarter of an inch thick and an inch long.  These I simmered in water for ten minutes, cringing for every last second.  I drained and dried the bacon, then sautéed it with some butter in a pot.  When it was lightly browned I took it out and put in the chicken.  At this point Julia says something different than usual – she asks me to brown the chicken rather than just get it stiff and yellow.  I do the best I can, though I’ve overcrowded the pot, so it’s tough.  Once it’s brown (sort of), I season it with salt and pepper and throw the bacon back in.  I cook it covered for ten minutes.  I rummage around for some cognac.  God, I had so many bottles of odd liquors these days, I feel like Colonel Mustard in the study.  Turns out, though, I’m just shy of a quarter cup of cognac, so I add a touch of brandy.  What could go wrong? Things smell fantastic when I take the cover off the chicken.  Mmm, bacon.  I pour on the cognac, light a match, and bring it down close to the chicken.  Whoosh.  I nearly lose a hand in the flame.  Ah well, I’d been meaning to get some electrolysis done anyway.  I shake the pan around until the flame goes out.  Then I pour in three cups of red wine – Spanish Grenache out of a jumbo bottle – plus beef broth to cover.  I let that cook for thirty minutes. Meanwhile, somewhere in there, I’ve put the peeled onions in to braise with half a cup of the same Spanish wine, and I’ve thrown the potatoes in to boil.  Half an hour later I take the chicken out of the pot.  It is disturbingly purple.  I have flashbacks of poaching eggs in wine.  I boil down the cooking liquid until it’s reduced, then, off heat, stiff in a paste of butter and flour.  I simmer again until it thickens, which it does very quickly.  Beurre manie is awesome, dude.  I put the chicken back in, and the mushrooms and the onions, and warm everything up.  Coq au Grenache. Oh so good.  Just French as all hell.  I could eat Coq au Vin all day.  And it’s purple, which we just don’t eat enough purple, do we?  Not since I stopped drinking Welch’s and eating Popsicles.  If Coq au Vin is the ultimate French chicken dish, then of course Boeuf Bourguignon is the ultimate beef dish.  As it happens, I will be making Boeuf Bourguignon for our distinguished guest on Wednesday, who is not, in fact, Julia herself, but is pretty damned cool anyway.  With the Boeuf Bourguignon I have decided to embrace cliché, for – and here’s clue number 2 coming up – it was the first dish our distinguished guest made upon reading MtAoFC for the first time. I’m pretty nervous about the whole thing. Oh, so you'll notice to the right my fancy new "make a donation" button.  I wanted to put something clever, but I haven't figured out the code for putting in clever stuff yet.  I put it up because people have shown an interest, but y'all it's Christmas, you have other things to spend your money on, please don't feel pressured.  Still, the price of truffles being what they are, I would of course be super-grateful for any funds received.  I promise not to throw it away on hookers and blow.  Most of the time.   7:54:41 AM    comment []