Wednesday, May 28, 2003

As Eric the Editor says -- actually, he doesn't say this quite so briefly -- “Brevity is the Soul of Wit.”  It also happens to be a key element in maintaining minimum REM levels and not getting one’s ass kicked out of one’s  government job.  So I’m going to give brevity a go here. Why is it that short weeks, the ones, say, after holiday weekends, are the absolute fucking worst?  I dragged out of bed with only just enough time to throw together the Marinade Simple for the pork chops – Marinade Simple being just exactly what it sounds like – lemon juice, olive oil, parsley sprigs, sage, bay leaf and garlic.  Threw some salted and peppered pork chops in and that was that.  But enough, along with the usual imposition of the R train’s diabolical plan, to make me late for work.  Work was – fuck, I don’t know.  It was work.   It was fine, I guess.  You know how that is, those work days that aren’t awful, but you just feel like the coins have been placed over your eyes and you’re buried?  It was one of those. What with one thing and another – actually, it was just one thing.  Public Outreaching.  The first of two nights in a row.  Exhausting stuff.  Anyway, what with one thing and another, I got home just before ten, which doesn’t sound so late for dedicated government drones dedicating their lives to good causes, but for a secretary with pork chops to cook and vodka tonics to drink, it’s late e-fucking-nough.  Though actually, dinner was a snap.  The pork chops had been marinating for their recommended twelve hours, and all I did was fry ‘em up in a pan.  (Yesterday I was bringin’ home the bacon.  Tomorrow I’ll never let him forget he’s a man.  Yeah, I’m a W-O-M-A-N, but I’m not much good at multi-tasking.)  I steamed some cabbage with thyme and oregano and the requisite amount of butter, made up some rice, and that was that.  Truly, to easy to even talk about – Simple indeed.  Which was stupid.  Because tomorrow I’ll be home even later, and I have to marinate a pork roast, whip up a soufflé, and make some nasty Mayonnaise Collee, just to keep up.  Mayonnaise Collee, for those of you who’ve somehow managed to live your whole lives without hearing about this, is gelatin mayonnaise.  Julia suggests that this stuff can be “squeezed out of a pastry bag to make fancy decorations.”  I don’t know about this, Julia.  I’ve never been one to kick mayonnaise out of bed – wow, mayonnaise in bed, that’s a scary visual place I’ve never been to until this very moment -- and my husband’s a goddamned freak about the stuff, but I can’t shake this very disturbing image of a birthday cake with “Happy Birthday, Julie” written in curlicue letters fashioned out of Hellman’s.  Uhuhuhuh….   7:51:36 AM    comment []