Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Why are we humans so peculiarly adept at torturing ourselves?  What kind of Darwinian funhouse trick is that?  Were all the blithe happy humans just enjoying themselves too darn much to make time for procreation?  Is the self-denigration mutation bound irrevocably to a heightened genetic immunity or something?  I do not know the answers to these questions.  All I know is, it’s bad e-fucking-nough that I have to get up at the crack of dawn for yet another early morning meeting.  Why do I have to spend the pre-dawn hours, when I should be sucking the marrow out of the little sleep I am allotted, wide awake and bitch-slapping myself? I can’t believe I didn’t make the fucking apple aspic, what the hell do I think I’m doing just making regular old mashed potatoes and regular old broccoli and regular old steak for dinner?!!!  Champignons Sautes, Sauce Madere?  Sauteed Mushrooms in Brown Madeira Sauce?!  What kind of fucking shit is that?!  Some beef stock simmered with carrots and celery and vermouth and bay leaf and thyme, then thickened with cornstarch, some quartered mushrooms browned in butter, some Madeira cooked down in the skillet, add the brown sauce and the mushrooms and simmer.  Big Fucking Whoop.  I didn’t even finish the glazed orange peel for the apple aspic, I should just get that scarlet L branded on my chest now, I’m a big fucking LOSER.  And what was that shit Eric was spewing last night? “Maybe part of the Project is that you don’t finish everything.” The fuck??!!!  Doesn’t he realize that if I don’t get through the whole book in a year then this whole thing will have been a waste, I’ll be a total failure and spin into despair and probably wind up on the street trading blowjobs for crack or something?  Where has he been all this time?  Doesn’t he GET IT???!!!!  He fucking hates me of course, curled over on his side of the bed like he doesn’t want me to so much as touch him, it’s because I’ve got the stink of failure on me now, I’m doomed…. Ah, yes.  The refreshment of a good night’s sleep.  Nothing like it. So, in other, less depressing news, a professor has asked me if she could survey readers of this here The Julie/Julia Project for a research project on blogs.  Seems the whole blog phenom is untapped territory for researchers, and you cool kids are the ones to watch.   Here is a link to her survey: http://libnt4.uncc.edu/blanchard/blog.htm.  Check it out, yo... Oh, and shit.  The Turkish restaurant we went to the other night?  It was called Zerza.  I think.  Not super-delicious, but pleasant and with a full bar.  It's on 6th Street, near 2nd Ave... 6:00:13 AM    comment []