Wednesday, January 21, 2004

The main thing I like about having trashed my blog is that I can totally rework it in order to put myself in the best possible light . I can be brilliant in this space, from here on out. All the crap I posted in the past, it's gone, nada. And the good stuff? I post it back in categories (been readin'), but slowly, casually, like re-hanging pictures tossed by an earthquake. A year ahead of myself. 8:15:10 PM    on the other hand  []

What a day for politics it's been!  And I'm ignoring it all in order to present you with news about the marketing impact that the Mars mission is having here on the Earth. Earth is a planet, boys and girls. See! We're learning at the same time that we follow our inner need to explore new frontiers. It's too frigging bad that it's not Christmas again, because I bet that Santa would be as excited as a monkey in a banana factory if he saw the new Mars toys making the rounds! They're licensed by NASA, in the hopes that if they sell enough copies of the 'Rough and Ready Spirit Rover' over the next few years, they'll have a man halfway to Mars before you can say "Danger, danger, Will Robinson." Danish toy maker Lego is the first to market with the Build Your Own Rover kit.  This marvelous toy costs only $89.99 and is recommended for ages ten and up.  And with 858 separate pieces to lose you can look forward to buying it over and over. "It's on the high end of challenging to put together," said Jeff James of Lego, adding that NASA is offering to pay triple the full retail for any toys successfully assembled. Hey sailor! Have you been to a Hardee's lately? To get one of their delicious Hardee 'Eatin' Good' sandwiches? Because you won't just be eatin' good, you'll be playin' educationally, with one of four great astro toys inspired by heroic exploits (the Brave Little Spacecraft) pulled from today's headlines, including the Mars rover vehicle, Cassini Meets Saturn, a pullback Cassini spacecraft that orbits a model of Saturn, and a Cool Comet Mission flywheel spinner. It's not just a meal, it's an adventure. And finally, in a story that has plenty of Mars but is a little short in the plaything department, Long John Silvers has announced Oceanquest on Mars. If the Rover discovers evidence of a past or present ocean on Mars, the popular seafood-like restaurant will offer each and every American a jumbo shrimp. Says Chief Marketing Officer Mike Baker: "As Americans, we're proud of NASA's exploration of space; as the world's most popular quick-service seafood chain, we get excited about ocean water, wherever it is. If there's ocean water on Mars, that would be giant news. And giant news calls for Giant Shrimp!" Not to be outdone, Long John's President offered the following. "We have closely followed NASA's recent exploration of Mars and all of us are rooting you on to find ocean water on the Red Planet," says Davis. "The 'Free Giant Shrimp' offer is our way of saying NASA's exploration of Mars and the discovery of ocean water would be 'one small step for man, one giant leap for seafood.'"   12:10:24 PM    on the other hand  []

Kucinich has his eyes on the prize. Jan 20 (AP) Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich vowed to continue his campaign despite a distant, fifth-place finish Monday night in the Iowa caucuses. "We picked up a few delegates, which is what I hoped to do," Kucinich told The Associated Press at a downtown Des Moines hotel where supporters were disappointed. "For some, this might be the end of their campaigns. For me, this is the beginning." "I'm now in the fifth position -- and we'll keep moving up." It's all about mastering the big 'Mo', and Dennis Kucinich feels that  he's got it all worked out. "Two slots," he shouts to the small group of bystanders, who have gathered outside of his New Hampshire campaign kiosk. "I moved up two slots in one week. I'm surging. I got the mo and I'm ready to go.' Dennis Kucinich is clearly flying high after receiving a delegate in Monday's Iowa caucuses. "One more than Lieberman," he reminds you, while flashing the V for victory sign. It has been an exciting week for Kucinich, who also scored a fourth place win in Washington DC's Imaginary Primary,  and saw his standings as a presidential hopeful skyrocket from eighth runner-up to sixth runner-up. "One more than Clark," he gleefully shouts, performing a modified funky chicken while pretending to smoke a carrot. "Follow me," the candidate tells this reporter, steering me into his kiosk while I futilely tell him I'm on my way to the Sharpton rally. ("Al doesn't stand a chance," he confides. "He's right about a lot of things, but I think he's met his match with me. I expect him to be eating my dust quite soon.") "Let's talk turkey. I'd rather talk it than eat it, because, as I'm sure you know, I'm a vegetarian. I am, in fact, the only vegetarian in this race," he tells me, his voice picking up volume. "And People Are Starting to Listen!!! Praise the deity of your choice, or no deity at all!!! DON'T EAT THINGS WITH FACES!!!" 7:07:24 AM    on the other hand  []