| New Hampshire Surprise: Kucinich Surges to 6th!
"Go go Dennis. He ain't no menace" That was the sentiment amongst New Hampshireans yesterday as they elevated presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich into sixth place. "I'm moving, I'm moving now," said the sickly looking vegetarian as he prepared to joint the Kucinich Karavan (2 VW Beetles and a mini-van) on a Kruise to Karolina.
"Although it may be ungentlemanly of me to say so, I'm glad that I beat Reverend Al like a red-headed step child. And let's not forget for a minute, he had the black vote. I am double S double wide psyched! As the great American singer Willie Nelson once sang, 'You can have your chicken fingers, All I want's a heart that's free'. I'm, I'm... I'm gonna explode! Yeeee-ahhhh!"
Asked if that wasn't Howard Dean's line, Kucinich replied "No. No it's not."
Although the rise of Kucinich isn't the only New Hampshire surprise, although it is the only one we plan on discussing in this piece. When asked if he was concerned about the fact that Kucinich had pulled within eight percentage points of him, Senator Joe Lieberman (who at one time was a heartbeat away from being a heartbeat away from being president) replied "Quite frankly, I am. It's very dispiriting, but I am committed to campaigning until next Tuesday. Not that it will do a damn bit of good, because Dennis, I think, is unstoppable. He chased Braun out of the race, he chased Gephardt out of the race, and what was the name of that old guy from Florida? Anyway, I guess it's all over but the gravedigging." |
