Monday, February 23, 2004

Yo! No Wonder I Don't No No Shit. from left to right: Ben Eckstein, 5th grade English; Herbie Prine, Intramural Volleyball; Satan; Darrell Stevens, 10th grade algebra; Marcie Stenson, 9th grade homo ed; dead guy; Jessie f. Johnson, elective, comparative religion. Education Secretary Rod Paige, upset after being voted 'Least Likely to be Nicknamed', today called the NEA a "terrorist organization" during a meeting with governors at the White House. The NEA (National Education Association) is the nation's largest teachers union, with 2.7 million members. Independent analysts say that this probably also makes the NEA the nations largest terrorist organization. Governor Ed Rendell of Pennsylvania said that Paige "was making a joke, probably not a very good one. He's not a very funny guy - he wants the president to like him - it's that simple. Of course he immediately divorced the NEA from ordinary teachers, who he said he supports. Now that did get a big laugh, and the president spit out his coffee." "I don't think the NEA is a terrorist organization," continued Rendell. "They're not a terrorist organization any more than the National Business Organization is a terrorist organization.... Just kidding, the NBO is all right. Good guys. Not like those terrorists at the NEA. Who aren't terrorists. Maybe." "He was implying that the NEA has not been one of the organizations that has been working with the administration to try to solve 'No Child Left Behind,'" said Missouri Governor Bob Holden. "The president is the War President, we are at war, and the NEA is not helping. Heh.  Not one bit. Now is that terror? Let's ask Governor Jennifer Granholm of Michigan." "We can't be supportive of the status quo and they're the status quo. But whatever the context, it is inappropriate. I know he wasn't calling teachers terrorists, but to ever suggest that the organization they belong to was a terrorist organization is uncalled for. And Paige is a great big dorkface, who doesn't even merit a nickname." [ed.] Governor Granholm is a stinking Democrat. The White House fire team swiftly arrived and sprayed the rambunctious Gaggle of Governors with a firehose so that President Bush could get a word in edgewise. "I fully understand it's going to be the year of the sharp elbow and the quick tongue," Bush said. "But surely we can shuffle that aside sometimes and focus on our people." "We'll continue to work hard to help you. NEA, be alert. We have your personnel data, thanks to the PaigeMeister. By helping our governors, we really help our people." Rod Paige wiped away a small tear. 7:24:39 PM    comment []

"For the last three years Democrats and media pundits have been smearing Ralph Nader and the Greens - oblivious to the facts - looking for a scapegoat for the failures of their own party and its candidates." From VoteNader.com This is real stare at the blank screen territory. I guess there is a small bit of excitement about Nadir's decision to run, both on the left and right, but when you think about it you've got to ask yourself 'Who Cares?' And why care? The sullen old fellow just isn't going to have much of an impact in 2004. Four years ago, he was saying that there was no difference between the two major parties, and I could be wrong, but I don't think that argument will sell this time. It's actually a little bit sad, in the sense that at one time Nadir was almost universally admired for his Everyman crusades, and now he's primarily known as the guy who gave us the Bush administration. You would think that he would have hid his face in shame. As you may recall, he had a theory that things would need to get worse before they could get better, and if his goal was to expedite this outcome, he most certainly can be considered a success. Many people thought that a Bush presidency would be bad news, but it has unfortunately outpaced the expectations  of all but the most pessimistic among us. Thank you, Ralph. Thank you very, very much. Look, the Green Party didn't even want to be associated with the man this time. He's a taint to them. He's probably not going to be able to get on many of the state ballots, and for those where he does, you know what? Lyndon LaRouche is gonna pull more votes. Janet the Snake is gonna pull more votes. The fool should take up golf. 12:44:51 PM    comment []

The Year of the Sharp Elbow 7:44:35 AM    comment []