| The Ugly Truth
At the moment, I am working on the very Passionate and action packed edition of Virtual Occoquan. This require copious amounts of coffee, bourbon, and cranking tunes. On the mix this morning is the weird-ass Dizzee Rascal, 'Da Durty Version' by Nelly ('...it must be your ass cause it ain't your face', uh-oh, scuze me, I've fallen under the influence of rap and need to go out and rape some hos), Courtney Love as America's Sweetheart (uh-oh, scuze me, I've fallen under the influence of rock and need to consume vast quantities of drugs and maybe kill the 'man'), ZZ TOPs blazing new one, Underworld 1991-2001, and uh, something else.
The ugly truth...is that I am listening to Tom Jones 'Reloaded' (as seen on TV!). What's more, I'm intentionally listening to it. Amongst all these musical treats, it's the stupid guy that has my attention at the moment. It's a guilty pleasure and I've got to admit: I really like the cheesy Welshman.
Like right now there is a ridiculous (and fantastic) song called 'Sex Bomb' playing that almost makes me nostalgic for disco. The song has the best dirty old man laugh I've heard in quite a while, if not forever.
Don't remember 'Sex Bomb'? That's because it's new, part of the Tom Jones reinvention. Yes, Tom is playing with contemporary musicians on half the tracks here.
And then there are the classics. 'It's Not Unusual'. Need I say more? Forget 'Goldfinger', 'Thunderball' is the best James Bond theme song of them all. And 'Delilah'. Delilah is simply one of the best totally useless songs ever recorded. Under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol, I have been known to karaoke it out full gush. More than once. Worse, when surrounded by enough sympaticos I have had the nerve to put it on the jukebox and urge other evil individuals to 'sing along', torturing an entire barroom for 3:23.
There are a few real head scratchers here. Van Morrison wrote the zucchini man a song, and their voices blend together just like hot fudge and lager, which is to say not one damn bit.
It's the new stuff that you'll want to hear. 'Mama Told Me Not to Come' with the Stereophonics, and regardless of what mama said, he's happy as hell to be there. Do you ever miss Frankie Goes to Hollywood? Then you'll want to check out 'If I Only Knew' with Rise Robots Rise.
'Tom Jones International' produced by Wyclef Jean is a true rarity - an actual Tom Jones songwriting co-credit. I bet his sole contribution was changing the little Nightmare on Elm Street ditty from "one two, Freddie's coming for you" to "one two, Tom's coming for you".
Can you imagine anyone doing a number with Portishead? 'Motherless Child' works, in spite of the fact of the clash between the Portishead cool and the Tom Jones hot, which is the only style Tom knows.
Then there's 'Burning Down the House' with the Cardigans. What the hell would you expect here, from a band that does such lovely versions of Black Sabbath tunes. "My house" says Tom, and yeah, for a while it is...
No house was ever happier to be burned, methinks. And that's the best thing about Tom: his unbridled joy. If I had to change lives with someone, I can't think of a better choice than Tom. Life's been good to him, and he let's you know it.
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