The Hoover Award for March
Proudly presented to those busy Americans who mind everybodys business but their own
It's time to return to the American Family Association web site, and see what new causes Donald Wildmon is pursuing this week. The very busy Wildmon was the February winner of FGAQ's prestigious Hoover award and his many fine activities this month make it two in a row. Congratulations Donald! (We would have given it to the FCC, but the AFA is funnier)
Yesterday the AFA announced a great victory. I'll refer you to their press release.
Urban Outfitters, under the pressure of more than one-quarter million emails from OneMillionMoms.com and OneMillionDads.com, has announced they will no longer carry the "Jesus Dress Up" magnet sets and has cancelled an order for 2,500 more.
This was a little refrigerator magnet with a variety of outfits, including a tuxedo, a ballerina outfit, and bunny slippers. While we haven't seen this magnet, we imagine the tuxedo outfit might look like this.
Another current crusade is trying to get the attention of Ronald McDonald, who is treating the AFA like trailer trash by blocking their many thousands of emails. The nerve! So the AFA, who are not easy to outfox, are giving out McDonalds 800 number, and urging folks to go hassle their local Mickey D manager. Why? Well, McDonald's is advertising on MTV...
It's quite obvious MTV doesn't care about the type of shows they air. Casual sex, profanity, and disgusting videos are their standard fare. This is the kind of programming McDonald's is supporting.
Run out and hassle the poor shmuck who's serving as manager on duty, and tell them that Slipknot steals souls. You'll be glad you did!
What else is on this month's agenda? You can harass US postmaster General Jack Porter by flooding his inbox! The man has been derelict in his duty by not launching an investigation into Playboy.
A post card offering discount subscription prices for Playboy magazine was mailed unsolicited and addressed to thousands of children and unsuspecting men. The card depicted pictures of women in see-through lingerie and offered a bonus magazine, Playboy's "Sexy Nude Coeds" collector's edition.
And the postmaster did nothing. Absolutely nothing. The slacker probably had his pants around his ankles with the postcard in his hand. And God knows what was in his other hand.
It's busy, busy, busy, so Wildmon splits his action alerts among various group. The two above were for One Million Women. One Million Men gets to take on another battle: Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice, sponsors of Fox's disgusting new show, Wonderfalls. I'm betting that if you read the AFA review, you'll find yourself tuning in. I know I will.
And finally we have One Million Youth. Their mission, should they choose to accept it (and God really thinks they should), is to bring the light to Jim Belushi, and his godless corporate sponsor, Pillsbury. 'All About Jim' has no problem whatsoever with the mocking of Christians, going so far as to have a pastor pray over Jim's bowling ball! (Too bad I didn't know about this earlier. I could have included it in 'Bowling Balls in the News). Later comes a remark so distasteful that I can't bring myself to repeat it, but let me tell you, it's just as bad as burning Jews. Heathens! Bowing before the doughboy.
The man, The Man, has earned this award a second time. And as the evil strains of (evil) Budweiser's 'Real Men of Genius' swell in the background, we salute you, Don Wildmon, Cultural Warrior Supreme, you've earned another Hoover! | 
