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"I've seen the future and it's John Tesh"
That's a line from a Time online piece by Sandra Tsing Loh, the National Public Radio commentator who was recently fired for saying fuck, on a pre-recorded piece. According to Loh, "Unfortunately the bleep — intended as a fleeting comic throwaway inspired by the famously blue-talking diva — did not happen. My KCRW engineer — still employed at the station — forgot. And this moment became what Ruth Seymour, my station manager, would describe to Reuters as my very own Janet Jackson performance piece." Low was then fired in what Seymour called "pre-emptive distancing", just in case the FCC was listening...
The last line, the one about Tesh, immediately caught my attention. Howard Stern had been rapping about him a couple of times in the past week or so, saying this [Tesh] is what his listeners would be listening to if his show was taken off the air. When I saw Loh's piece, I realized that Stern had not been speaking metaphorically.
Yeah, John Tesh, the 'blonde Frankenstein' from Entertainment Tonight, the former Yanni sideman, the guy who recently said that he was excited about the FCC crackdown, the composer of 'Conniceta', is on the air. It's a show full of wimpy music and friendly advice
From a CNN piece entitled Nice Music with your DJ John Tesh:
Against the backdrop of all the indecency controversy surrounding radio, John Tesh hosts an Adult Contemporary-targeted syndicated radio show that is the antithesis of the Howard Stern generation.
...It is a mix of music from the likes of Celine Dion, Paul Davis and Brian McKnight -- up to 12 songs per hour -- with what the producers tag "intelligence for your life." That can mean rules of thumb -- like wearing red gets you better service in a restaurant -- or that women miss kissing most in a mature relationship.
One of the show's slogans is "If a 9-year-old can't listen to it, you won't hear it on this radio station."
Uh, okay. If you want to listen to radio dumbed down to a nine year old level, fine with me. I know how to switch the dial. But there's plenty of people who apparently haven't mastered this move, and they seem to be the ones who are calling the shots right now.
Look. Here is an excerpt from last week's FCC statement regarding the broadcast of the Golden Globes.
Today, we overturn the Enforcement Bureau’s October 2003 decision and find that the use of the “F-word” during last year’s broadcast of the Golden Globes violates the federal statute. This sends a signal to the industry that the gratuitous use of such vulgar language on broadcast television will not be tolerated.
This is a government document. From a government web site. It is addressing the fact that Bono said fucking fantastic on live TV. It is meant to express a policy and a direction. But look at what it does not contain. How can you make a policy about the use of the word fuck without using the word fuck? Unbelievable. Government by nine year olds. John Tesh is the future. | 
