Thursday, December 02, 2004

President Bush has Nominated Mike Johanns for his new Secretary of Agri... Jack: Scott, Scott, wait just a cotton pickin second. That's not the president. McClellan: Yes it is. Slim? Slim: Are you sure that's the president? McClellan: Absolutely sure, and if you... Slim: Follow up on that. The president sure looks awfully two dimensional there. Come clean, McClellan. That's not the president, is it? McClellan: To answer your question, the president is awfully two dimensional. Now if we can move along with other business. Helen. Helen: I recognize it now. That's the cardboard cutout that they use down on Pennsylvania Avenue. McClellan: No it's not. Helen: Yes it is. I've been a member of the White House Press Corp for thirty-two years and I've seen a lot of flat... Big Slick: She's right, Scott. Five bucks, get your photograph with the president. Got one right here with me... kinda artistic... I had the guy take a shot of the cardboard Bush looking at the cardboard Condi... McClellan: Let me see... Oh, man, that's really stupid. Big Slick: Well, sorry Scott, I'd had a couple martinis and it seemed like a funny idea. Janine: Fox News agrees with you, Scott. It's stupid. Unnamed Foreign Correspondent: Hee, hee... McClellan: Quit your laughing, Selar. Okay, this is not for attribution. If you must know, the president is doing a little down time in Crawford. Long campaign and all. He needs a little R&R. Juan: Sure, man. Don't get so uptight. McClellan: He is in constant contact. And the cabinet decisions are all his. So there. Back to you, Janine, since you're the only one who's been polite. Janine: Will that really be the president turning on the Christmas tree tonight? McClellan: Yes, it will be. He's got a remote. 3:11:52 PM    comment []

Keane Takes Turnip Prize In a poll of 500 contemporary American artists, Walter Keane's 'In The Garden', a 1963 oil on canvas has been named the most influential work of the twentieth century. The painting surprisingly beat out a large number of better known modern pieces, such as Picasso's Guernica, Duchamp's Nude Descending a Staircase, and Frodisi's Elvis, Jesus and Robert E Lee. "It's easy to see why this painting is so influential," said Stansfield Turnip, patron of the arts and sponsor of the Turnip Award. "That little girl is just adorable, and those eye seem to follow you around the room. It's just a shame that the artist isn't alive to accept the $100,000 dollar award. He would have been so proud to have seen the influence that he had." Note to all FGAQ readers: Sick of Internet Explorer? I have been using the FREE Mozilla Firefox Browser for the past three weeks, and not only is it faster, but it blocks all pop-ups and (so far) Spyware. You can download it here. 12:39:51 PM    comment []