Baby Still Smaller Than
Monster Thickburger
Rumaisa Rahman,
the world's tinniest baby to survive such a premature Caesarean section, is
almost ready to go home. Rumaisa's birth weight was 8.6 ounces, but
she now weighs over ten ounces. As Hardees CEO Andy Puzder is quick to point
out, however, this is considerably less than the weight of a Monster
Thickburger."With the
Thickburger you're starting out with two 1/3-pound pure Angus beef patties,
so as you can see, the beef alone weighs more than Rumaisa. And that's
before we add four strips of crisp, hickory smoked bacon, and three
humongous slices of Hardees special cheese, slather it with mayonnaise, and
pop it on a hot buttered sesame seed bun. So it's at least fifty percent
bigger than Rumaisa. At least."
Puzder has wasted no time negotiating an
endorsement deal with the Rahman family. "It's a natural for the Monster
Thickburger campaign. Two things Americans love: little babies and big juicy
cheeseburgers. Put them together with, mmm, maybe Alicia Keys in the
background, people are going to be really wowed." |
