Dear Amber...
I've been reading about your book tour, keeping up with you the best I can,
although you know that it's not too easy when you're spending the majority
of your day in a darkened cell. It's cold in here amber, and the factory
whistle blows in my head like a factory whistle. Ha, ha. Just giving my
letter some prison color.There's an
old guard I met named Whitey who sometimes brings me... hold on, Amber, I
almost lied to you. I never wanted to lie to you and I don't want to lie to
you now, but sometimes I stretch the truth, for entertainment purposes only.
Whitey does sound like a good name for a prison guard, doesn't it? Promise
that if you ever right a second book about me, you'll call one of the prison
guards - the kindly, old one - Whitey. Or if you don't like that, Mack is a
pretty good one as well.
There's a kindly old guard named Bill - well,
Mister Smith to me - that sometimes brings me a copy of the New York Daily
News, when it has you on the cover, that is. Then he'll make some cute
little comment like 'suffer, you miserable bastard, I fucked her last
night'. This is really nothing but prison banter between two guys, Amber,
and I feel so lucky to already be making friends.
Anyway, the
news said that you still think about me and wonder if I think about you.
My heart really went to my throat when I read that, Sweet-ums. I think about
you all the time, and I really thought about you when I read that article
with your picture in color, but my new friend Bill was standing right in
front of my cell smoking a cigarette, so there wasn't much I could do about
it.
Oh well, the moment filled me with happiness,
although I didn't dare to show it, because just then Bill's partner Red came
walking up. Red is a nice guy as well, but he's a real stickler for the
rules, and he's not hesitant about using his taser if he sees me violating
the no smiling policy.
Amber, I guess I really have to go now since
it appears to be exercise time. I could have sworn we already had exercise
time today, but I guess since I have been such a model prisoner, they are
giving me extra exercise time. I really hate exercise time, man oh man, but
I guess before long I'll be looking back on all this and saying "Wow, what a
long strange trip this has been."
Be strong, Amber. I know this is hard on you,
but after this is all over and we have all the money from the book (and
movie I hope!) we'll take a lover's holiday that you'll never forget.
Bunches of love,
Scott
p.s. - You probably wonder if the second guy
is in fact named Red since I almost embellished my letter earlier with the
'Whitey' reference. The answer is yes, that really is his name, even though
he doesn't have red hair or anything. Life is so strange. |
