Wild Youths Rock Their Socks
Off In Party For The President
Hillary Duff gets to second base with the
assistance of President Bush
Scads of crazy kids put on their dancing
shoes and boogied the night away at the pre-inaugural presidential pop show
billed as 'America's Future Rocks Today: A Call to Service'.
Proving that you don't have to be a liberal
to have a good time, hundreds of young guys and dolls joined hostesses with
the mosteses Barb and Jen Bush to get on down to the sounds of Ruben
Studdard, Hilary Duff, Ryan Cabrera, and JoJo, and to listen to messages
about how they can make a real difference by sending their shoes to
Afghanistan and cleaning up parks.
We'll Make the Bed Before Checking Out
Daddy-O, Can We Get You a Refreshing Non-Alcoholic Beverage on Our Way to the Bunker? You
probably think that I'm making all this up as some sort of hallucinatory
salute to the fifties. Sadly, no. (Here's your surreality based
universe, Karen).
Skateboarders flung their silly asses up and
down a set of ramps to show their support for an administration which will
reward their efforts with a dismal future filled with mounting debt and the
promise of eternal war. A really cool tent was set up on the perimeter,
filled with G rated video games, tables recruiting for volunteer
organizations (like the all-volunteer Army!), and information about the
White House Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives. A disc jockey
tossed Girl Scout cookies to the crowd from his booth, while happy campers
waved glow sticks. Welcome to Hell.
Festivities were only slightly marred when
the singer from some boring Emo band opened his potty mouth and in a
misguided bid for street cred shouted "Welcome to the greatest fucking
country in the world." He quickly apologized, which really wasn't necessary,
as the crowd was well aware that they indeed were at the greatest fucking
party for the greatest fucking president of the greatest fucking country in
the world.
The Prez knew it too. He addressed the crowd
directly (in what our fevered imagination can only hope was a perfect Ed
Sullivan imitation), asking “How about Hilary Duff? She was fantastic. How
about 3 Doors Down? Pretty cool guys, right? Seem cool to me.” |
