Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Detainees Out to Destroy Troop Morale A detainee wires himself up in an attempt to embarrass prison guards The news comes to us from UPI that 23 Islamic detainees attempted to thwart justice at the Guantanamo Bay prison in the summer of 2003 by hanging themselves. Lt. Col. Jim Marshall, speaking on behalf of the U.S. Southern Command, said the hangings were "a coordinated effort to disrupt camp operations and challenge a new group of security guards". Whether their efforts at disruption were successful or not is unknown. Their actions are significant, however, as part of a growing trend among detainees to damage American morale by repeatedly assaulting, humiliating, and torturing themselves. "It's systemic," continued Marshall, an escalation of what we witnessed at Abbie Grabbie. Things started off innocently enough there, with detainees showing up at the chow hall with panties on their head. Yeah, that was weird, but we let it pass for a while. Before you knew it, they were out there forming naked pyramids in the exercise yard. They really got out of hand with their behavior, running into walls, and sometimes going as far as jumping into the prison swimming pool with doors on their backs. Sheesh. Talk about a morale problem. But I guess at the end of the day torture is part of their heritage, kind of like baseball is for us." 3:25:31 PM    comment []

"ummuggamoneymoatteesometroopsohkabyouu." "I'm sorry, Mister President, I didn't quite catch that." "wannalittleyouknowwannalittlebitofcashmoneyknowhatimean." "It's me, really it is, getting a little hard of hearing... If you wouldn't mind repeating yourself just one more time." "Goddamit, you're trying to make me beg now, and that's something I can't and won't abide by." "No, really sir, nothing of the sort, I honestly couldn't make out what you were trying to say. Make you beg? Nothing could be further from the truth." "That's one heck of an attitude you got. I wonder what the American people would think of that mouth on you. They don't particularly care to see their chief executive treated with that sort of lack of respect." "Oh goodness, you won't tell them will you? I am so sorry if I gave you the impression of disrespect. Anything you want, just ask and it's yours." "I was just asking for an extra eighty billion, for the troops. You do support the troops, doncha?" "Well, of course I do, sir. It's just that I'm not sure that I've got eighty billion on me." "Oh, sure, sure, I see where this is going. You sure don't seem to have any problems coming up with a few bucks if it's for something you enjoy, like the environment." "Come on, that's not fair. That only cost seven or eight billion. Besides, I just gave you an extra twenty-five billion a few weeks ago. What happened to that?" "Done spent it." "You done spent it?" "War ain't cheap. And nothing good comes easy. You be happier if Saddam still had his rape camps?" "Oh, okay, eighty billion more, we'll scratch it up from somewhere. Are you sure that will be it for the year?" "Absolutely. You've got my word." 11:21:48 AM    comment []