Feith Leaves Defense
Department; Will Work With Stan Lee
Douglas Feith, the Undersecretary of Defense for
Policy has given notice to the Pentagon of his decision to resign. Feith,
the primary architect of the policy for pre-emptive warfare that that laid
the groundwork for the invasion of Iraq, was once described by retired
General Tommy Franks as "the dumbest fucking guy on the planet".
In his memoir 'American Soldier', Franks
elaborated. "Feith was a theorist whose ideas were often impractical; among
some uniformed officers in the building, he had a reputation for confusing
abstract memoranda with results in the field." Aside from his work on the
Iraq invasion, Feith had other noteworthy achievements, including the US
withdrawal from the 1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile treaty, and the post-war
planning for Iraq.
In an exclusive interview with FGAQ, Feith
told us that he will be creative consultant on a new project by comic book
legend Stan Lee. "Who's dumb now, Tommy-boy?" he asked rhetorically. "I get
to work with Ringo Starr, the second-greatest living Beatle". The project
that Feith is referring to is a series of animated films in which Ringo
plays an evil fighting superhero who can also play drums fairly well.
Stan Lee
explains. "Ringo is beloved worldwide for his commitment to people and
his singular wit. Our Ringo superhero character will combine these
qualities, along with Ringo's secret powers." Aside from his super-human
ability to play drums, Ringo will also be able to hop over buildings, and
find weapons of mass destruction, no matter how well hidden they may be.
"We're working on a plot-line for the first
episode where Ringo finds Osama bin Laden and beats him like a snare drum,"
says Feith. "Ringo will have special titanium drumsticks that shoot magnetic
waves and never ever splinter. Of course, bin Laden will escape, because
he's Ringo's arch-nemesis, and will return to menace the earth in future
episodes. But there will be plenty of surprises, I assure you. We've even
lined up Kadafi to play his sidekick, Moammarman." |
