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McCartney Superhero Even
Better Than Ringo
Unnamed Man rescues puppies from the evil
Doctor Lunch
The WB network today announced
plans to begin shooting a new summer series starring aging rocker Paul
McCartney as a musician that moonlights as a superhero, and whose love for
animals is his only weakness. "He melts at the sight of a baby elephant or
chimpanzee," says director Robert Townsend. "The bad guys know this, so
they've always got a kitten ready to drop in the volcano, metaphorically
speaking".
The hero, as yet unnamed, will
have several remarkable powers, including the ability to communicate with
the common folks and the power to play a catchy little ditty on any number
of musical instruments at a moments notice. "It's not like he can just play
drums, and that's all," says Townsend. "It's a much more rounded character
than that. For example, in one episode, he'll play harpsichord while
suspended in ultraspace".
McCartney frowns when asked by
FGAQ why this revelation comes so close on the heels of former Beatle Ringo
Starr's announcement of his upcoming series with Stan Lee. "Not a fair
question, mate. He tried slipping one through on me, obviously. I've had
this idea for years, and just haven't got round to it till now. Seemed to me
that Superbowl week would be the perfect time to announce a new Superhero.
Right? Right. Is Ringo the star of the Superbowl? Not last time I checked.
That honor belongs to yours truly. Can Ringo write the most popular melodies
of all time? Back off, boogaloo. Not to speak ill of the dead, but the other
lads were always nicking my best ideas".
FGAQ remained skeptical. Why is
there still no name for his character, with shooting scheduled to begin in
March? "Ah, that has been a right can of worms, I'll tell you. We tried 'The
Music Man' but then someone showed me this movie with Robert Preston. Bloody
awful. Didn't want to be associated with that. Then we were going with 'Mr.
Bass Man' until we got a cease and desist from some joker named
Johnny Cymbal. Wanted 500 pounds, and his song in the title bit. Fat
chance. 'Piano Man?' No dice. The name 'Trombone Man' was free, but my
character doesn't play horns. We finally settled on 'Beatle Man'. That was
till last Friday. Then we got a call from Yoko..." |
