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North Korea Admits to
Having Nukes
Also Claims Strong Dislike for
Charles and Camilla
In a surprising announcement,
North Korea's foreign ministry announced that it "really, really, really
does have nuclear bombs, very large ones, the size of a small deli," and
that they will boycott the US sponsored regional arms. Pyongyang said
they have "manufactured nukes for self-defense to cope with the Bush
administration's undisguised policy to isolate and stifle North Korea," and
then in a flagrant display of rudeness, taunted the president's mother,
calling her a "white haired hyena with eyes reminiscent of bloated water
chestnuts".
Secretary of State Condoleezza
Rice immediately rebutted this statement, saying the president's mother had
beautiful eyes, and reminding North Korea that their leader "has a girls
name, and looks like a squashed horny-toad".
Kim Jong II did not directly
respond to these charges, opting instead to appear on state television,
where he told the nation that Prince Charles and that Camilla woman are the
two ugliest white people ever, and that even the possibility that they might
somehow reproduce "should fill the globe with pangs of shock and horror". He
then called the late Princess Diana "a saint, and an honorary North Korean,"
sang the first verse and chorus of 'Candle in the Wind' accompanied only by
a DangPiri player, and retired to his chambers for a nap. |
