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Kerry Backs 81.9
Billion Supplemental War Funding
Senator John Kerry provided his Republican opponents with
new political ammunition today - should he ever be so foolhardy as to ever
run for president again - when he gave his support for additional spending
in Iraq, stating "I actually will vote for the $82 billion before I vote for
it."
"What sort of crazy talk is
that?" asked Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist. "If a double negative is a
positive, isn't a double positive a negative? I think... no... yes... Wait a
minute. Let me ask my good friend, House Majority Leader Tom DeLay".
"No, Bill, a double positive is
still technically a positive, but it's an insidious kind of positive, kind
of like when you put two positives together in a flashlight and the damn
thing just won't work. Senator Kerry, you mealy mouthed meathead, why don't
you just say what you mean?"
"I did say what I mean, Bugman,
what do you have, bribes in your ears? If you don't have the sense to
listen, I don't have the sense to speak".
"Kerry, this is Frist. It's
imperative that I identify myself since Hoback didn't bother to annotate us
tonight. You think you're pretty smart, don't you, you brie eating
earth-shoe wearing double positive Boston potty mouth. I can beat your ass
any day of the week in a game of skittles".
"I, for one, have no idea what a
skittles is".
"Oh sure you do, Botox face.
It's a game where you've got all these little bowling pins and they're all
in little chambers and you spin this wooden thing kind of like a top, you
know what I mean, oh, what the hell do you call that thing? Help me out,
Senator Lieberman".
"A dreidel".
"Thank you, Joe. It's called a
dreidel, and you knock over as many bowling pins as possible".
"Perhaps I can knock over no
tiny bowling pins. Does that in some way make me less of a man?".
"Yes". |
