Dean to Dems: Stop Noah
Now
In a rallying cry to the Democratic party, DNC
Chairman Howard Dean urged the party to "seize the future now, while no
one's looking". Focusing on the party's lack of emphasis on long term
planning, Dean pointed out the looming threat of nine year old Noah
McCullough, a devout Republican who is working as an advance man for
President Bush's push for privatization of Social Security.
McCullough is the youngest member of the
president's advisory stance by a good three years, but has quickly made a
name for himself via appearances on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, and his
outspoken support for Mr. Bush and his policies. "What I want to tell people
about Social Security is to not be afraid of the new plan," Noah said
yesterday, speaking to Fox News. "It may be a change, but it's a good
change."
"Balderdash," retorted Dean. "All Americans
of good conscience should take this young man out to the woodshed.
Metaphorically speaking, that is."
Dean has good reason to be wary of
McCullough, whom many people think is too big for his britches. The two
first met on the set of the Tonight Show, where Dean was
badly beaten in a game of presidential trivia. "We're pretty sure that
the kid was fed the answers ahead of time," Dean said. "If you look at the
tape, Leno was doing a lot of winking up there. And if, by chance, it was
all on the up and up, all I can say is, get a life, kid. You're nine years
old. Go bat a ball around or something. Jeez."
The Noah McCullough tour, with special guests
Three Doors Down, is being sponsored by the conservative action group
Progress for
America which plans to spend $20 million on Social Security messages
this year. Kelly will be visiting to several states directly before planned
Bush speeches, and will also be featured on a number of talk radio shows. He
has already declared that he will be a presidential candidate in 2032, and
wants the social security mess cleaned up before then. "It will be bankrupt
when I'm president," he has said.
Dean urged Democrats to find their own bright
nine year olds to run for office in 2032, by which time he believes the
nation will be ready for a change in leadership. |
