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Rush Jumps on the Noah
McCullough Bandwagon
In a segment titled 'Nine Year Old Runs Rings
Around Katie' (transcript
here), Rush marvels at the genius that is presidential spokesman Noah
McCullough, the Bush Administration's foremost authority on social security.
See, as a self-proclaimed future president*, Noah ends up saying a
lot of precocious things, like this response to Katie Couric's question
about why he's stumping for social security reform. "Because
I know that it's a major problem that has to be fixed, and I don't want to
have to deal with it my first day in office".
<insert Rush chortle
here> "Thirty-two
years from now he doesn't want to have to deal with Social Security his
first day in office. And Katie is just reduced to "uh-huh."
<insert Rush harumph here>
Back to Noah.
"And
right now the plan that President Bush has proposed is kind of like the
medication <visual: Rush's eyes get wide> to get it back. It's not going to
immediately happen like right when you take a pill <visual: Rush licks lips>
or something you don't immediately feel better. It takes a little while."
And Rush is beside
himself, because this kid, this nine year old, is making more sense than any
of those liberal idiots, this child is cleaning their clock. What a perfect
way to kick off hour number one on a glorious Friday.
Stating that it is not his intention to bring
'undue attention' to a precocious nine year old, Rush begins hour number two
by declaring that Noah McCullough just might be the new Messiah. "You
notice, of course, that I use the word 'might', because this is a sticky
proposition, and I, for one, don't wish to be guilty of leading anyone down
the wrong path. 'Might' is the operative word. There is the matter of the
spectacles, which lend a faint air of weakness, but then again, let us not
forget about Clark Kent".
"Laugh, if you will, oh yea of little faith,"
said Limbaugh at the start of the third hour of his Friday radio show, which
is now heard in thirty-eight-thousand-three-hundred-and-seventy-two markets,
"but there is no wiser lad in this land than the McCullough boy. If my
God-given talent would grow, tumor-like, to even half that of Noah's, I
would surely have my radio show on in at least
forty-two-thousand-one-hundred-and-thirty-six markets, which is what, I
predict, little Noah shall soon have as his minimal total outlets - should
he consider becoming a part of the EIB network - long before the 2032
presidential race."
"This little lad is smarter than Thomas
Jefferson, Ronald Reagan, and Neil Diamond all rolled up in one, covered
with a rich, tangy mustard-based barbeque sauce... oh, pardon me, I'm
thinking about my lunch".
*And dare we say, at this point the 2032
front-runner |
