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Condi Breaks America's Heart
In a sad bit of news, Secretary
of State Condoleezza Rice said today that she will not be running for
president in 2008. She has become weary of the speculation on her candidacy, and this morning
lashed out angrily in an interview on ABC's 'This Week'. "I won't
run," she said petulantly, spittle glistening on the corners of her mouth.
"I won't. How's that? Is that categorical enough?"
"Yeah, sure Babe, categorical
enough for me," replied host George Stephanopoulos. "Whatever."
The news came as a shock to
many, in particular the independent web site
Rice2008, which only last Thursday began offering their Condoleezza Rice
Bobble-head dolls for sale.
"Man oh man, are we ever
screwed," said site spokesman Laura Burton. The doll, which looks remarkably
unlike Dr. Rice, stood 7" tall, and was expected to be a highly sought after
collectors artifact. "Twenty thousand Condi dolls? Double damn me. Who the
hell is gonna buy a Secretary of State doll? The Colin Powells went over
like a lead balloon."
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