Army Raises Enlistment Age for
Reservists to 65
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The U.S. Army, stung by
recruiting shortfalls caused by the Iraq war, has raised the maximum age for
new recruits for the part-time Army Reserve and National Guard by thirty-one
years to 65, officials said on Monday.
The Army said the move, a three-year
experiment, will add about 194 million people to the pool of those eligible
to serve, from about 60 million now. Physical standards will not be relaxed
for older recruits, who the Army said were valued for their maturity and
patriotism. "If they can't do their push-ups, then fuck 'em," said
Lieutenant Brad Bradley, a man who should know.
The Pentagon has relied heavily on part-time
Army Reserve and Army National Guard soldiers summoned from civilian life to
maintain troop levels in Iraq and Afghanistan. Roughly 45 percent of U.S.
troops currently deployed for those wars are reservists.
Maj. Elizabeth Robbins, an Army spokeswoman,
said the maximum enlistment age for the regular Army will remain 34, "at
least for the next couple of weeks. We've got to rewrite a a lot of computer
program, and that's real, real hard. So hard that we are contracting out to
Mantech, because they have a lot of people with real big brains. When I say
big brains, I am in no way kidding. Many of their heads can not be supported
by their pencil sized necks, so we have to get GSA to procure special
ergonomic chairs. You know, the kind with head buckets."
"Old people like shit on a shingle," said
Major Bradley. "Chipped beef, what's not to like? We expect to attract a lot
of older recruits who just want something tasty to eat. Kibbles and Bits, or
processed turkey. It's not all that difficult of a choice." |
