Rival Kyrgyzstanian Party Says No To
Changes
Alternate governing counsel (l-r)
Fygloi, Bklong, Felix, and Gkorkivlagki
BISHKEK, Kyrgyzstan (Reuters) - Kyrgyzstan's new rulers sought Sunday to
avert a split in their ranks after their lightning coup, but tension
remained high with fresh warnings of possible civil war in the impoverished
Central Asian state. Thursday's revolt left the ex-Soviet republic with two
rival parliaments and clear strains among opposition leaders, united only by
the desire to get rid of veteran President Askar Akayev.
Stating that the Boopha interim government,
led by Kurmanbek Bakiyev, was "not worthy of grooming my yak," Ihop interim
government leader Felix Kulov, who is also the Nation's security chief,
launched into an angry denouement of "supposedly approved changes"
recently announced by his opposition.
"So this is what the Boophas care about their
proud heritage. Not a big f-ing lot, eh?" Kulov paused to relight his pipe
before continuing. "Westernize the spelling of our countries proud name to
Curgistan? Kyrgyzstan we are, and Kyrgyzstan we shall remain! It looks so
good on paper that the whole nation shivers with delight each time they see
it printed in the Bishkek Times!"
"As for the National Anthem, well, we agree
that 'The Marching Feets of Kyrgyzstan' is just not a very good number, so
we would be willing to compromise on that issue. But, 'Mack the Knife',
never, I swear unto you this is an insult, proposing to use a German song to
represent the people of Kyrgyzstan!"
"And while we're at it, we propose a classier
dress code for all ruling government officials. Just look at those slobs in
the Boopha party. Sonny Gykryzonich is the only one wearing a nice suit,
while Kurmanbek Bakiyev is wearing a t-shirt, like he just came in from the
market. No wonder other countries don't respect us, dressed like that. As
for Fran of Kyrgyzstan, parading around in public with naked arms and golden
tresses, I can only ask, what the hell is a woman doing on the interim
counsel to begin with?" |
