Hungry Cannibal Attacks Pat
Buchanan
Libertarian commentator Pat Buchanan was forced
to
cut short an appearance at Western Michigan University, when a wild man
attacked him armed with a knife and fork, and covering him with a heavy
layer of Hidden Valley Spicy Ranch salad dressing.
"You've got a real thrashing coming to you,
buddy," shouted Buchanan, bonking the cannibal over the noggin with his
microphone. "I am somewhat less than amused. You want a piece of me? Do you?
You want a piece of me? You realize, of course, that this is a rhetorical
question. You obviously want a piece of me, but nobody eats Pat Buchanan."
In a matter of seconds, Buchanan had the
hapless flesh eater on his back, threatening with his own utensils. "Fork
you," he bellowed, plunging the steely tines into the leg of the frightened
savage. Security guards reached the stage in time to prevent any further
mayhem. The cannibal, know by the name Ugah, is considering taking legal
action for injuries obtained during the struggle. |
