|
Benedict Denounces Papal
Obstructionists
Demanding a simple up or
down vote, Pope Benedict XVI denounced obstructionist cardinals who wish to
subject Pope John Paul II to the five year waiting period for sainthood
which was required by, uh, the Pope, at least until recently...
"There's a new Pope in town,"
declared an animated Benedict, almost putting a papal aide's eye out with
that little stick he carries. "And that Pope is me."
Experts on papal law agreed. "Arrr,
'e's a fine Pope 'e is," said noted popeologist Long John Silverman. "And 'e
won't be afeared to make the likes of you walk the plank, metaphorically
speaking."
Pardon the interruption. Stating
"The man was a saint, I tell you, a saint," Benedict declared the waiting
period 'null and void', and dispatched a team of super-bishops to round up
the requisite miracle. This should be accomplished in short order, he
predicted. "I myself once saw John Paul make a plate of manicotti
disappear." |
