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White House Evacuated Again
The White House was evacuated again just a few minutes ago, following
a suspicious incident involving a big yellow truck which authorities claim
may be carrying dangerous nuclear waste. The vehicle was first noticed
driving erratically down Wilson Boulevard in Roslyn, Virginia. Police blew
their horns at it, but the truck kept a'rolling.
Moments later the atomic truck
was seen driving, still erratically, across the 14th Street Bridge, with the
radio turned up all the way to some seventies station. There are reports
that the driver littered the bridge with the wrapper from a Monster
Thickburger, but these have not yet been confirmed. Bystanders stared
angrily and yelled 'Slow down, Buddy', but the truck kept a'rolling. DC
police commissioner James 'Jim' Gordon called the special White House blue
telephone with a warning, and everybody who was anybody was whisked to a
secure location.
Authorities worst fears were
confirmed when the truck made a sharp left onto Pennsylvania Avenue,
overturning a hot dog cart owned by Abu Nahasapeemapetilon. "I have asked
you nicely not to mangle my merchandise," shouted Abu. "You leave me no
choice but to ask you again." Police fired warning flares, which missed the
truck, instead hitting the remains of Abu's cart.
At present, the truck is parked
directly in front of the panic stricken White House. Authorities have not
yet been able to make contact with the driver, a big yellow man with three
hairs. Senior presidential adviser Karl Rove says that the chief executive
will be appraised of the situation as soon as he returns from his bike ride.
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