Sorry Just Isn't Good Enough,
Mister
 Saying that freedom of the press
"is a privilege, not a right," White House spokesman Scott McClellan
spelled out some of the steps that the disgraced 'news' magazine Newsweek
should take in order to undo the odious damage it has caused to the US and
it's loving relationship with the Arab world.
"First and foremost, we would very much like
to see the immediate firing of editor Mark Whitaker. He's a very bad man, a
man with an agenda, and that agenda is to destroy the president and his
mandate by any means necessary, even if it means plunging our troops into
harms way, even if it means extreme danger to every man, woman and child -
especially the children - in this great land of ours. Michael Isikoff, the
writer of this false piece of propaganda, is also a very bad man, and rest
assured, we do have our plans for him. Still, as is so implicitly shown by
this administration, the buck always stops here, and by 'here', I am
referring to the president, or the editor, whichever the case may be."
"I want to put this issue in the clearest
terms possible. If there should be another terrorist attack on American
soil, it will not be because of the failure of the president and his
policies. It will be because of one man, and one man alone - Mark Whitaker.
So getting rid of him is job number one, above of which we shall put no
other job."
"Secondly, in order to ensure that an
incident of this gravity never again takes place, the White House would like
to appoint the new editor of Newsweek. No up and down vote, no simple
majority, just a case of we say it and you do it. As our candidate, we
select someone who is loved and trusted by all the people of the world,
irregardless of their faith or nationality. The new editor will be Barney
the Dog."
"Now, I want to pause here, and assure
you that this administration is totally cognizant of the fact that even a
very intelligent dog does not have the capabilities needed to be a viable
senior editor. Anyone who has ever tried to housebreak a dog can tell you
that. What we are interested in is providing the American people - and
indeed, the people of the world - with an object lesson. They need to
understand that the truth is not necessarily the truth, particularly when
it's focused through the lens of the liberal media. And a lie is not
necessarily a lie, particularly if it's a lie that's been reported by the
aforementioned sources. The truth is more a matter of faith than it is a
byproduct of reality, and facts are like the thorns in the crown of Jesus,
as should be clear to all God fearing citizens. Plus, there's nothing much
funnier than seeing a dog sitting behind a desk, pretending to use a
typewriter."
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