What right-wing
PMS bias?
Ann Coulter
(Archive)
May 19,
2005 |
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Bill Moyers, the demented, fermented, foul
scented, liberal discontented, mentally segmented, truth misrepresented,
logic circumvented, all facts reinvented, friend of dead miscreants who will
not be lamented - yes that Bill Moyers, former host of the PBS
program 'Not With Bill Moyers, You Don't', referred to the American-led war
in Iraq as doing "to the people of Baghdad what bin Laden did to us." Well,
he's almost exactly correct, so I don't see a problem, do you? I say
'almost', because any objective look will show that thanks to American
battleground superiority we've taken out a much higher percentage of the
Iraqi population than bin Laden took of ours. And a lot of those that we've
terminated have been genuine dyed in the wool evildoers.
What else has the badly aged Moyers said
that's risen up to my level of controversy? Well nothing, really. The
Committee just told me that this week's column had to be about Bill Moyers.
I said, 'I want to write about guys for a change'. They said, 'Well, He's a
guy'. Damn! I wonder if I'll ever be smart enough to be on the committee.
Moyers called those cute but poignant
American flag pins "a little metallic icon of patriotism" comparable to
Mao's Little Red Book being displayed on every Communist Party official's
desk in China. This is silly. It is not comparable in any way. One has pages
that you could ostensively read if you were of the Chinese persuasion, while
the other is a piece of decorative jewelry suitable for any and all
occasions, unless you're wearing a nice dress, something formal for a big
event. Then you're not just going to want to stick a pin in it like some
hayseed.
Moyers made big fun of Condoleezza Rice for
her ineptness in not preventing the 7-11 attack, despite a clearly worded
memo stating: "All American hot dogs shall soon be ours, at least the all
beef ones. We shall pour your beloved Budweiser down the drain of history,
and leave tampons strewn everywhere, even on the bakery products." On the
surface that looks bad, until one realizes that the owner of the 7-11 is of
the Arab persuasion, and that there is a Quicky Mart right across the
street. As Condi said, "I don't think you should, frankly, have to
make more than a cursory inspection of the Quicky Mart without knowing that
you would prefer to attack their Jumbo Fiesta Burrito before you'd ever
touch one of those nasty 7-11 dogs".
In his lengthy diatribe that I fell asleep to
twice while attempting to research this piece, Moyers said that CondiWeezie
(yes! that's what he said!) had cried woof, intentionally misleading America
and the world about the case for invading Iraq. Well, she didn't mislead me,
but I guess that's because I'm on the Committee's mailing list and he's not.
Tough luck, Bill. So she told you that Iraq was a part of the war on terror
and that Saddam had WMDs (honestly, I can no longer type those silly words),
and that he could take out the US at a moments notice? I don't know
what to do Bill - marvel at your stupidity, or congratulate you on your
ability to so effortlessly lap up whatever crap we shovel your way. Regular
viewers of PBS know that we invaded Iraq for oil. Don't you even watch your
own programming?
Oh my god, I've already gone 586 words!
Between the Starbucks Expresso Frappuccino (calories 220, but I'm sweating
them off over the keyboard) and the Gauloises Blondes, I am on fire!
Have I proven my point about Bill Moyers yet?
What is my point? Oh jeez, I wish I had read the background for this, but I
swear, the Committee did not send it over until late last night, and I was
out doing Hannity, and then I stopped at Le Chien Humide for a late dinner
of olives and gin, and I get home and I'm like ohmygod, it's only three
hours before I have to file, and the word file makes me think of my nails
which really are a mess and I certainly don't need to draw any more
attention to these hands, and besides I've got like 700 words, so the way I
see it the Committee owes me. |
