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Bolton Disrupts Memorial Day
Picnic
"Pass the ketchup, you worthless old
antique"
Democrats are predictably seizing
upon UN ambassador nominees behavior at a Memorial Day picnic as evidence
that he does not have the right temperament for the position. Washington
hostess Patricia Bluestone claims that Bolton flung a large portion of
potato salad at her in a fit of anger, absolutely ruining her blouse and
spoiling her appetite. Additionally, she claims that he chased an unnamed
female guest around the yard with a chicken leg.
"I have never seen such
appalling behavior in my long career of hosting picnics for Washington
insiders," she told FGAQ. "He asked me what the little green things were in
the potato salad, and when I told him they were bits of chopped green
pepper added for color, he called me a dumb b-word and hurled his serving at
me with undue force. And then he wiped his hands on David Lyons' pants,
saying only a real p-word would want to be ambassador to Fiji. The man is a
beast."
"Ah, give me a break," said
vice-president Dick Cheney, who also attended the picnic lunch at Rosemont.
"The potato salad was crap. I applaud John for having the cajones to express
that fact as bluntly as he did. When you have a country like Syria on the
Human Rights committee, the last person you want as ambassador is some sort
of gentleman."
"And it was not a chicken leg,
it was a wing. Can't that bitch get anything right?"
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