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Rush Swallows Tongue; Finds it
to be Delicious
FGAQ went in for a bout of
toughness training yesterday, listening to all three hours of the Rush
Limbaugh radio show. Excellence in Broadcasting, indeed.
Actually, we didn't plan on the
marathon, but were interested in whether he would speak to the foolhardiness
of his many, many hours of acid tinged talk on the Terri Schiavo matter. Or
maybe just spin it as delightfully as Hannity did. ('I was right about
everything!', was the gist of the Vacant One's comments.)
Rush, of course, chose to
pretend that the day's biggest media story did not exist, and never
addressed it. Towards the end of his show, however, he learned about comment
from Senator Dick Durbin on the Guantanamo Bay prison. (Or as Rush calls it,
Camp Gitmo. See the t-shirts he's selling
here).
To wit:
On one occasion, the air
conditioning had been turned down so far and the temperature was so cold
in the room, that the barefooted detainee was shaking with cold. ... On
another occasion, the [air conditioner] had been turned off, making the
temperature in the unventilated room well over 100 degrees. The detainee
was almost unconscious on the floor, with a pile of hair next to him. He
had apparently been literally pulling his hair out throughout the night.
On another occasion, not only was the temperature unbearably hot, but
extremely loud rap music was being played in the room, and had been since
the day before, with the detainee chained hand and foot in the fetal
position on the tile floor.
If I read this to you and did not tell you that it was an FBI agent
describing what Americans had done to prisoners in their control, you
would most certainly believe this must have been done by Nazis, Soviets in
their gulags, or some mad regime – Pol Pot or others – that had no concern
for human beings. Sadly, that is not the case. This was the action of
Americans in the treatment of their prisoners.
Doesn't sound that radical to
you? Well, that's because you hate your country. Rush went apeshit, which
was really tragic, because he only had a few moments left on the air. "We
deserve to lose this war," he shouted. "If we're going to be led by such
idiocy and such ignorance as this, we deserve to lose it." And then he
swallowed his tongue.
After emergency surgery at Palm
Springs General Hospital, Limbaugh was released following a few hours rest.
Early reports were that Limbaugh had actually masticated his tongue before
swallowing, but these were apparently in error, as he returned to his show
today as loquacious as ever, continuing his rant precisely where he had left
off.
In related news, Gene Simmons,
of the rock band Kiss, is recovering at a hospital in Atlanta from a vicious
attack which nearly left him speechless. Waving the special Kiss hand symbol
for reporters, the aging rock star said, "Ib I eddah fond ow ooh did dis tuh
me, I guhn ick is udduh uckin aah". |
