|
Amiable dunce Jeb Bush managed
to emerge first amongst a crowded field of competitors to claim the title of
Freak of the Week. Determined to win back the trust of fanatical
fundamentalists who were disappointed by his decision not to send in the
National Guard to rescue wingnut poster girl Terri Schiavo from further
purification, the president's smarter brother has asked Pinellas County
prosecutor Bernie McCabe to open an investigation of just what might have
led to Terri's collapse, and why it took her husband Michael so long to call
for medical help.
Michael Schiavo has said that he
called 911 immediately upon discovering his wife's condition, but the odious
governor of the odious state of Florida seized upon statements that he had
made on the show of Pulitzer prize winning journalist Larry King.
"I'd say, about
4:30 in the morning, I was, for some reason, getting out of bed and I heard
a thud in the hall. I race out there, and Terri was laying in the hall. I
went down to get her. I thought, 'Well, maybe she just tripped or whatever.'
I rolled her over and she was lifeless. And it almost seems like she had
this last breath. So I held her in my arms, and I'm trying to shake her up.
I ran over, I called 911."
Police records show that the
call for emergency assistance came at 5:40, so at the very least, Schiavo is
guilty of not checking the time. Whatever, it was dark outside. David Gibbs,
the lawyer for Terri's deplorable parents, had this to say.
"This brings the
focus back to what caused an otherwise healthy 26-year-old to collapse in a
hallway for no apparent reason, and why Michael Schiavo, the only
eyewitness, has given all these inconsistent statements on what should be a
fairly memorable event."
The thing about traumatic events
is that they are, well, traumatic, and Michael's attention might have been
on matters other than the clock, little realizing that fifteen years later
he would become a political football, a perfect pigskin prime for punting by
a pudgy politician poised for possible presidential pursuit.
"The unanswered questions may be
unanswerable," said the governor of the nation's most retarded state. You,
sir, are the freak of the week.
|
