Good Riddance
to O'Connor
Ann Coulter
(Archive)
July 7,
2005 |
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I couldn't help but gag earlier this week while listening to all the faux
praise heaped upon the first and most depressing damsel to sit upon and
befoul the Supreme Court. I, along with all true believers, am celebrating
the resignation of Ronald Regan's greatest (and perhaps only mistake.) What
was going on that would make the Gipper appoint someone like that? Was he
thinking with the wrong head? Oh, I'm sorry I said that. I've just grossed
myself out. Eww.
"We hope the president chooses someone
thoughtful, mainstream, pragmatic, someone just like Sandra Day O'Connor,"
said Sen. Chuck Schumer, that idiot. I could make so much fun of his name in
so many ways that it would make your head swim. For instance, up-Chuck
Schumer. Schmuck Tumor. F-word Doom & Gloomer. The list is endless. But the
point is the same - who cares what Shuck Rumor thinks?
Even President Bush choked back his glee long
enough to call O'Connor "a discerning and conscientious judge and a public
servant of complete integrity." You can just feel the dripping sarcasm in
those words. He all but called her a hosebag.
He should have. Here's a funny line I came up
with. Naming O'Connor's worst decision is like asking someone who their
favorite unaborted child is. Hee hee hee. I sometimes like to contemplate
the case of Grutter v. Bollinger. Oh my, that was bad. But I don't have to
tell you that!
It's often been said, by me at least, that
one of O'Connor's problems is that she is not a judge, but a legislator. And
while there is certainly a lot of truth to my words, I think it's pretty
obvious what her greatest problem was. Just take a look.
Oh my god, what a skank! She looks like
Dudley Moore. And this is an old picture, people. It doesn't get any better
than this. Take a gander at those big old man-hands! And what's that on her
head? You're kidding me - that's supposed to be hair? Hee, hee, I think this
picture was taken before stylists were invented. And I love the outfit,
Sandy. I understand that the reason she keeps that blouse buttoned up so
high is to hide a rather prominent Adam's apple, but maybe it's just a case
of going for the den mother look.
I think that O'Connor's real calling was as
the neighborhood mean girl, maliciously teasing her playmates, and ruining
the schoolyard games by making up rules willy-nilly as she went along, so
that none of the other girls could keep up. Of course she hated religion.
Most ugly girls do, since the good Lord chose to bestow upon them such
porcine features. But she did like her sodomy, uh-huh, voted for it every
time she had a chance, claiming that was a very special right, guaranteed by
the constitution. (It's not!) And don't even get me started on abortion. The
heartless bitch took specific sadistic glee in refusing to overturn Roe v.
Wade even though it was all in her power to do so. 30 million aborted
babies, and all she's worried about is her sodomy.
Are you thoroughly disgusted yet? I hope so.
We shall speak of this vile creature no more. I hope, however, that I've
given you a sense of why the president's next nominee is so important to all
conservatives. We need someone strong and wise, someone who understands that
a healthy society needs something a little bit more substantial than
compassion for a foundation. Someone that's a constitutional scholar with a
degree from a decent school, (unlike O'Connor who got her law degree from
Sears). Someone who can bring the court back from the edge of the precipice
which it now finds itself teetering on. Someone blonde.
Why not the best? Why not me? There is a
groundswell already. I feel as though it's a done deal. There is no question
about where I stand on the issues. I'm young enough to rule for forty years.
And I look terrific in black. |
