Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Lawmakers Urge Bush to Consider a Non-judge for Supreme Court Ted Nugent is an example of a non-judge, i.e. one who has never been a judge From Bloomberg we read that President Bush met this morning for breakfast at the White House with Senate leaders from both parties to discuss the replacement of Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O'Connor. U.S. Senate leaders urged President George W. Bush to go ``outside the judicial monastery'' and consider a politician or lawyer for the U.S. Supreme Court. The Senate's top Democrat said Bush sounded receptive to finding a ``consensus candidate.'' Well, doesn't that just buckle your shoe. "Hey, George, here's a good idea, choose a politician or a lawyer." Like there wouldn't be anyone at the table who would fit that profile. It's a good frigging job. Job security for as long as you care to have it. Interesting work, but not too much of it. More exclusive than the Senate. If anyone ever hassles you, you just hand them your card. A long paid vacation. And you would be taking that vacation, my friend, because instead of having to campaign for your next election, you're going to Disneyland. What career politician wouldn't kill for this job? Senator Bill Frist swiftly cast aside the cloak of my suspicions. That freaked me out a little bit. "Things are not like you're thinking; there's no such thing as personal ambition in the Senate. You're thinking of the House. Up here we're only concerned with what's best for the president and for the country. It's just our honest belief that politicians and lawyers represent the cream of society. And we've got people who are both! Hey, you know what would be great? A politician-surgeon combo. Oh, man, that would be unbeatable." Senator Harry Reid said he was happy that the president was reaching out to lawmakers. "That's all we want really. Someone to reach out to us, and tell us that they care, about the things we are, and about the things we wish could be." Senator John McCain was positively upbeat. "What a great way to get rid of an old thorn in the side like me. doncha think? Win-win situation. I'm going to tell George, 'Hey, I'm your man'. Worked for Cheney. Don't know why it wouldn't work for me." 2:33:26 PM    comment []

White House Denounces Newman Comparison The White House has angrily denounced remarks made by Senator Hillary Clinton which compared President Bush to Mad Magazine mascot Alfred E Newman. Although she insists that she was "just teasing," this was considered a real insider hatchet job by the Committee to Prevent Embarrassing Rhetoric. "Hillary Clinton's opportunistic attempt to market herself as a centrist is like a wolf dressing up in sheep's clothing," said Tracey Schmitt, a spokesman for the Republican National Committee, "and she does not look good in wool". (A Clinton spokesman retorted that Hillary looks "pretty darn fine in whatever she choose to wear.") At his morning press briefing, Scott McClellan told reporters that while Bush looks absolutely nothing like Newman, Hillary was the spitting image of Lisa Simpson. "Oh, it's clear that she's the model for that cartoon. Same big mouth, funny hair, and look of knowitallness written all over her face. Smartypants Lisa Simpson, the family misfit, always thinks she knows best, when in reality, all she has in her head is a fist full of disconnected facts, none of which adds up to a mouthful of warm pea soup in the final analysis. Hell, for my money, the Democrats would be better off taking a chance with Krusty the Clown." *Newman from Tom Tomorrow, Simpson from Matt Groening, Hillary from AP 11:34:04 AM    comment []