Writing is Easy the John Stossel Way!
I just returned from World O'Crap, where I was
participating in
The Ultimate
Wingnut Challenge, casting my vote against the very boring Brent Bozelle,
who should be gone by this time tomorrow. Now while I was exercising
my democratic rights, something else got the better of my attention.
Excerpts from a new
Town Hall column by
co-anchor of the ABC News
show '20/20', John Stossel.
Where I work (in network
TV) and live (on the Upper West Side of Manhattan), people say
"conservative" the way they say "child molester."
I'm sure they they do, John, right after they
light your cigar. You know, John tells us, they don't make liberals like
they used to.
Ironically, in the
19th century, liberals really did want to hear new ideas. In 1869, it was
a liberal who wrote, "< insert good liberal text here,
seventy-two words of it, to really builds up the word count fast>".
Now John is going to treat us with a contrast
with the modern era's inferior liberals.
I recently finished a tour
for my book, "Give Me a Break." Weirdly, the same month "Give Me a Break"
came out, my publisher released a book by my wife's ex-boyfriend.
Oh yeah, I remember hearing about that - mmm,
about three months ago.
It
was at NewsMax.
My wife's ex-boyfriend, a
liberal, came out with a book the same month I did, from the same
publisher. Both our books became New York Times bestsellers. For several
weeks we appeared next to each other on the bestseller list. How weird is
that?
That is weird indeed, isn't it? I mean, the
fact that it was a bestseller.
His book was not
political, but he is well-liked in the liberal media world. After our
books came out, I turned on the radio, and the first thing I heard was
Imus gushing about how wonderful my wife's ex-boyfriend was. Even my wife
rolled her eyes. My publisher couldn't get me on Imus.
My wife's ex became a
regular on NPR and got on national shows, like "Fresh Air." He was on CNN
with Larry King and Paula Zahn, and on PBS with Charlie Rose. He got four
columns in the New York Times; my book was never mentioned.
You know how humiliating these moments of
inadequacy can be. They burn themselves into your memory, and you find
yourself ruminating over them again and again. Back to NewsMax.
His book was personal, not
political, but he has long been well liked in the liberal media world.
After our books came out, I turned on the radio, and the first thing I
heard was Imus gushing about how wonderful my wife's ex-boyfriend was.
Even my wife rolled her eyes. Imus had him on more than once. My publisher
couldn't get me on Imus.
My wife's ex became a
regular on NPR, and got on big national shows, like Fresh Air, that had no
use for my book. He was on CNN with Larry King and Paula Zahn, and on PBS
with Charlie Rose. He got four columns in the New York Times; my book was
never mentioned.
Four columns? John would have been happy with
just four column inches, but he's not complaining. Or shouldn't be.
I shouldn't complain. I
have plenty of airtime of my own, and the conservatives were eager to
talk. I got to discuss my ideas with dozens of talk radio hosts, and on
Fox News Channel, where Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity have audiences CNN
only dreams about. More people bought my book than my wife's ex's.
Stossel sold more books that the Ex!!! Tell
us about it again, John!
I shouldn't complain. I got
to discuss my ideas with dozens of talk radio hosts, and on Fox News
(where Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity have audiences CNN only dreams
about; my publisher says their passionate audiences buy the most books). I
did sell more books than my wife's ex did.
John also remembers the good times.
Conservative hosts had me
on their programs even though some loathed my hard-core libertarian ideas.
Maybe it's because conservatives in media are used to people disagreeing
with them. In fact, if they live in New York City, they are used to
liberals shrieking at them. Few conservatives wanted to spend much time
debating drug prohibition (Sean Hannity was a rare exception), but at
least they heard me out.
As a matter of fact, he can't get them out of
his head.
Conservative hosts had me
on their programs even though some loathed my libertarian ideas. Maybe
it's because conservatives in media are used to people disagreeing with
them. In fact, if they live in NYC, as I do, they are used to liberals
shrieking at them. Conservative students invited me to speak at their
schools. Few conservatives wanted to spend much time debating drug
prohibition (Sean Hannity was the rare exception) or my other libertarian
arguments, but at least they heard me out.
It's just not fair, when you think of what
could have been, and John wraps up the story with his exciting conclusion(s).
I thought I'd have a shot
at a fair debate with Al Franken because we're acquaintances; our kids
went to school together. No such luck. He invited me to his studio, but he
barely let me make an argument; instead he ranted about a "lie" on page
305.
I did have had a wonderful
time on Air America's "Morning Sedition," with a host who was furious that
government doesn't stop Americans from eating too many Big Macs. I
treasure the moment of silence that followed my saying that government
that's big enough to tell you what to eat . . . is government big enough
to tell you with whom you can have sex.
That's the debate the
media's supposed to advance.
I didn't find much of it
in the "open-minded" liberal media.
I think it would be unfair to accuse Stossel
of self-plagiarism - just look at the phraseology and uh, different
paragraph breaks he has in this version.
I thought I'd have a shot
at a fair debate with Al Franken because we're acquaintances (our kids
went to school together) and I'm actually a fan of his radio show. But no
such luck. He had me on, but he barely let me make an argument, instead
using the air time to suggest I was lying about something on page 305. I
did have a wonderful time on Air America's, "Morning Sedition," with a
host who was furious that government doesn't stop Americans from eating so
many Big Macs.
I treasure the moment of
silence that followed my saying that a government that's big enough to
tell what you eat ... is government big enough to tell you with whom you
can have sex.
That's the debate the
media's supposed to advance. I couldn't find much of it in the
"open-minded" liberal media.
And that's how you write a column the John
Stossel way. It's easy. Sure, Town Hall may be a little cranky about paying
for used words, but I say if you've got a good story, people will be happy
to relive it again and again. And as NBC says about their reruns, "If you
haven't seen it, it's new to you". |
