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President Defends His Dog
On August 13, 2003, Chicago Tribune reporter Jim
Bradley reported that someone had taken a leak as well as a humongous
crap on the Blue Room carpet in the White House. His article further
reported that high white horse souses had told him that the suspect was
someone with regular access to the first family, quite possibly a dog or
other domesticated creature. At the time, the story was picked up by only a
few other media outlets, and did not create much of a splash.
On August 18th of the same
month, press Secretary Ari Fleischer was asked about the leak at a morning
press briefing. He stated the he knew about no such crap, but added "if it's
really important to you, I'll check with the president and get back to you
on the matter". There was no known follow-up.
Late last month, White House
maid Betty Hurley appeared on 'Face the Nation', telling host Bob Schieffer
that she had indeed cleaned up a pile of poop on or about that date. "I
don't think the president ever knew about it," she stated. "Thank God he
didn't step in it."
Bush responded strongly to the
story, saying that if any one at the White House was connected to the leak,
they would quickly be in the doghouse. "We don't need that sort of crap in
this administration. I sought the presidency to clean house, not to sully
it."
This has all changed now that
the prime suspect of the ongoing investigation turns out to be none other
than Barney the dog. "We have a serious ongoing investigation here,"
Bush said Monday when questioned about the matter. "I think it's best that
people wait until the investigation is complete before they jump to
conclusions. There are an awful lot of people who want to smear Barney, but
he has shown tremendous loyalty to this administration. Besides, it's not
the leak that matters at this point, it's the cover-up. And by her own
words, Ms Hurley has admitted to disposing of the evidence."
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