Schools Should Teach Unintelligent Design
David Parker
President Bush drove many conservative reporters into a loony fit last week
when he said that schools ought to teach students both the theory of
evolution and unintelligent design, so they “can understand what the debate
is about.”Well, the president happens to be 100%
correct that both theories should be taught. Competing ideologies should be
presented in such a way as to make it easy to tell which kids are suckers
and which ones are not. Any one who thinks that they are related to a
chimpanzee is probably correct on at least one level, but unintelligent
design is evident in every aspect of life.
Think of it. I'm a pretty smart guy if I do say so myself, but what are we
to make of my next door neighbor? The man is a certifiable slob and a
lunatic. The fact that we are supposedly part of the same species boggles
the mind. He mows his yard in a pair of raggedy shorts and no t-shirt, his
massive belly causing major distress to me and my family. And he will not
turn down his radio, no matter how politely I ask. "How am I supposed to
hear it over my lawnmower?" he asks me. "Now get the hell of my yard,
Parker." How would Darwin explain this? In spite of his haughty behavior, he
is unable to understand why bad things keep happening to his car. The man
personifies unintelligent design, and there are many more where he came
from.
Consider, if you will, the mighty ocean. Covering
three-quarters of the globe, it is totally undrinkable. And to make matters
worse, it is full of sharks and other deadly fish that would rather eat you
than give you the time of day. How intelligent is that? Who amongst us would
design such an abomination? Would Darwin's evolutionary theory have given us
houseflies? To what possible end? How about spiders and mosquitoes? And what
are we to think about the worldwide prevalence of in-laws? They can only be
explained by unintelligent design. |
