Tuesday, August 23, 2005

"I talked to Condi, and there is not — as I understand it, the way the constitution is written is that women have got rights, inherent rights recognized in the constitution, and that the constitution talks about not the religion, but a religion. Twenty-five percent of the assembly is going to be women, which is a -- is embedded in the constitution."                 - Bush comments on the Iraq constitution  8/23/05 "I'm sorry, Mister President. Would you mind repeating that?" "What's the matter, Stretch? Having trouble with your recording machine? Maybe you oughta learn shorthand." "No sir... It's just that, well... I'm not sure exactly what you were trying to say." "I'm talking about the Iraq constitution is what I'm saying. It's just great that Condi guarantees every body make women in the restitution, I mean the governing body can not afford to pull out if you're going to have religion." "What?" "Listen here Stretch, we're staying the course whether that Sheehan woman, or the men and women who make up the press pool, weaken the country or not. I think the Iraqi women are guaranteed, as I understand it, and I do understand it." "Mister President, maybe we could break this down into little chunks of information... What if we just ask you some yes or no questions?" "Good try, but the answer is no." "Uh..." "No more questions, then? I've got brush to clear." "Yes. Mister President! Mister President, when you say that the constitution talks about not the religion, but a religion, what exactly do you mean by that?" "Got to explain everything to you, huh Slim? I mean that the constitution has religion. Got it?" "No..." "I used to think the Times-Journal was a pretty decent paper, but you're just about as dumb as a piece of wood. Just write it down and give it to your editor. Maybe he'll explain it to you." "Mister President, does the constitution have protection for women in it?" "Did you hear what Condi said? She's a woman." "Yes sir. Have you, by any chance, read the constitution?" "That's downright insulting, Lumpy, and I don't think your boss is gonna be too happy when he hears about you speaking disrespectfully to the Commander in Chief. Of course I haven't personally read it. What, you think the president of the United States doesn't have anything else to do but sit around reading constitutions all day? I think that's just about enough jaw-boning. You fellows head back off to your trailer." 5:05:52 PM    comment []

Bush Condemns Robertson Comments President Bush took a few minutes out of his vacation schedule this morning to condemn remarks by insane televangelist Pat Robertson. "That shit-for-brains has gone one step too far this time," said Bush, responding to Robertson's suggestion that the U.S. should murder Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. "I mean, what sort of leader would I be if I didn't come out against this Bozo? He's gone beyond the bounds of acceptable speech, here... I'd call what he's saying an act of terrorism." Warren Vieth, White House correspondent for the Los Angeles Times, asked Bush whether he might be judging the lunatic preacher too harshly. "Not really," replied Bush. "Think about it logically for a moment, Warren. If you were to get on national television and suggest assassinating me, we'd have your ass locked up so quickly that it would make your head spin. You'd be lucky to ever see daylight again." "Look. Let's speak plainly. I'm a religious man, so I don't like saying this, but you know how I feel about personal responsibility. The buck really does stop here. And the buck stops with Robertson as well. Listen - there are believers, and there are fanatics, know what I'm saying? Charlie Manson never killed anybody. He just suggested it. bin Laden didn't fly those planes into the World Trade Center, he just thought it was a terrific idea. Get the picture? The guy's a terrorist. I've got Chertoff and Mueller checking on just what we can charge him with, and I'm going to make sure that we prosecute him to the full extent of the law. To do anything less would be abdicating my responsibility as president." 11:04:32 AM    comment []

Serious About Going After Those Terrorists? 9:41:07 AM    comment []