Weather Madness with Jim Joe
Dudley
Hell yeah, I'm glad that Hurricane Rita didn't rip us a new one. The first
time I saw that thing on television, I said 'Holy Moses, that thing takes up
the whole screen!' We're talking big. Humongous. That's one hell of a
hurricane. But now it's fizzling out and it looks like the worst is over. I
half believe that old Rita knew George Bush was watching from NORTHCOM and
just lost her nerve.But that doesn't
change the fact that we've got some dumb-ass meteorologists running things
over at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Throw a bunch
of these big brain types in a heap and what do you get. A big pile of
tax-payer supported nonsense. Listen to what I
just read: these knuckleheads are afraid they're gonna run out of
hurricane names. That's so dumb it makes my head hurt just thinking about
it.
These morons are talking about starting to
name hurricanes after the Greek alphabet! That's right, American hurricanes
with names like Delta and Gamma. Not on my dime, buddy.
See, these pinheads have all these nutty
rules they go by. We're talking full-court anal. Like all the storms have to
be in alphabetical order. Now what the Sam Hill do I care if I get hit by
Maria before Larry even gets blowing. I'm up to my ass in alligators either
way.
On top of that, they don't even use the
whole alphabet, just 21 letters. You heard right, they don't use 'q', 'u',
'x', 'y', or 'z', because they say there aren't enough names with those
letters. Hello. Anybody ever heard of Uma, Ursula, or Ulysses? And if they
can't think of names, just make 'em up like black mothers do. Hurricane
Quinella. Hurricane Zazzuna. See there, it's easy as pie.
Okay, okay, let's just say that there's
some crazy federal directive that says they've got to follow those rules,
because that's probably the case. (Don't get me started on those wackos in
congress.) In that case, you dunderheads, when you get past Wilma, just
start giving them two names. Hurricane Ann Marie. Hurricane Billy Bob. Piece
of cake.
Man, those guys are so messed up. |
