Saturday, October 08, 2005

Update: for the sake of my bandwidth, please try the following links before using the one in the main text. http://www.megaupload.com/?d=01Q6R2PE http://www.megaupload.com/?d=43E6R5VG FGAQ Editor 'Stunned and Amazed' Fried Green al-Qaedas editor Mark Hoback described himself as being 'stunned and amazed' after seeing the latest video from the Global Islamic Media Front. "Oh, fuck me," said Hoback. "I try to do parody, but these guys are parody. I'm, like, speechless." Hoback was obviously not speechless, as he continued to ramble on with FGAQ correspondent Fred Hollings. "These guys, I mean, these guys, they're absolutely hopeless," said Hoback, to me, FGAQ correspondent, Fred Hollings. "This is the most ridiculous bullshit that I've ever seen." Hoback was talking about the latest video release from the Global Islamic Media Front, a six minute webcast entitled 'Jihad Hidden Camera'. [ed note: hosted on my site, in case it quickly disappears. What the fuck? al-Qaeda gonna sue me for copyritgh infringement?]. "Most absurd goddam thing I ever saw," said Hoback. "Monty Python for al-Qaedas. Funny? I guess if you think Manos: Hands of Fate was funny, you might get a chuckle out of this." Hoback turned serious, and it made me pee my pants "Hey. I really hate celebrities," he said. "And down there, even beneath those bottom suckers, I really really hate politicians. But, I tell ya, so much lower are these friggin terrorists, like, duh, the guys in al-Qaeda. Oh man, those guys really are the scum of the earth, and as much as I ridicule the Bush administration, these guys are the real deal as far as scumbags go. They're all about 'no fun', so I say we take them out. Fucking Iraq, what a joke. I want to kill these terrorist guys. No shit. Why the hell do you think I call my friggin site Fried Green al-Qaedas? Yeah, you got a clue yet? Liberals, conservatives, get a grip - let's make fun of these guys first." 9:33:57 PM    comment []

Jennifer Saddened by Asian Earthquake Jennifer Aniston spoke to the London Times this morning, expressing her sorrow that a 7.6 magnitude earthquake had struck along the India-Pakistan border and killed more than 1700 people. "It's so sad," said Aniston, who knows firsthand heartbreak beyond no other. "It's like, one moment you're there, and the next thing you know, you're wiped off the very face of the earth. Life is so very fleeting... I know just how the dead people feel. Sometimes I wish that I were dead. But not today. Today is another day." Today, in fact, marks the one week anniversary of Jennifer's divorce from actor Brad Pitt, a relationship that many say was doomed from the start. "Doomed from the start," repeats the sad-eyed Aniston, sipping slowly from a half gallon bottle of Olive Hill Spring Water. "Maybe I am doomed from the start. Courtney [gal-pal Courtney Cox] says that I'm just a Gloomy Gus and that rainbows shine off in the distance." Jennifer pauses, and like the actress she so truly is, stares off in the distance. Then she makes the cutest little face you've ever seen. Albeit sad. "But Courtney's a real bimbo." 1:16:12 PM    comment []