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I Think You're Gonna Like This Guy
Hey guys, it's Joey Stark
again, the guy with tips for guys that guys can use. And I got a question.
Is it just me, or is this judge Sam Alito really on to something? I mean
besides the fact that he's from the hood and has an honest to God good
strong normal kind of name going for him. Okay, so he's a Camden boy, but
he's been around Philly for long enough to be one of us so go on and get
outta here.
I see this guy down at the
BullsEye all the time, sitting up by the rail sucking down Genesee Cream
Ales, watching the Phillies or the Eagles or the 76ers. And when the Broad
Street Bullies are on, there he is buying the bar rounds every time one of
the Flyers takes a stick to the side of some losers head. "Hey Sammy, you
see that? Guys gonna be eating apple sauce for the next month." Man, he just
laughs like some kinda maniac. Good guy.
I didn't even figure the dude
was a judge until after I'd know him about five years. I mean, he dresses
real normal, none of that robes garbage. Like what the hell is that. You're
walking around in a long black dress and I'm supposed to listen to what you
got to say? Except for the chick judges, although that's not exactly a hot
look if you know what I mean.
So, yeah, of course you gonna
like the guy, but for the sake of all you out of towners, I'm talking about
his mind, not just his mouth. When I read that Sammy was gonna have a shot
at the big court, I decided to do a little research, him being the biggest
star coming out of here since Randall Cunningham or something. Okay, okay, I
exaggerate a little bit, but the point is he done good. Listen to Joey Stark
and learn a little something, why doncha.
So, how many of you guys like
uppity broads? Lets see a show of hands. Huh? You, punk, get outta here
before I have to kick your ass. Hey, just kidding Vito, I know you like
anything in a skirt. Let me play it out for you. Your old lady walks in here
and says, 'Hey, Joey, I just got an abortion, ya know, so buy me a double
cause I'm feeling down in the dumps'. You did what, bitch!? You'd
probably be ready to knock her block off. First because she told me instead
of you, but that's okay, the ladies just like Joey. But all kidding aside,
you'd be ready for some pile-driving because the doctor didn't call you
ahead of time to get your permission. Won't be like that if Sammy gets on
the bench cause he doesn't cater to that sort of treacherous bullshit. You'd
have ample opportunity to knock some sense into that little slut's head.
Okay, lets look at some other
examples, cause that one was too easy. Let's say you're going down to the
store cause you need a new machine gun and the guy behind the counter says
'Hey, Joey, what's the matter with you, you know congress passed a law says
you can't get a new machine gun any more', and you say 'Get outta here. What
about my second amendment rights?' and the guy says 'I dunno, Joey, maybe
you should write a letter to Judge Alito or something'.
And he's a practical guy, too,
got a lot of good common sense, except for him betting me that the Astros
would take the White Sox in six. Sucker! Yeah, but other than that. Like in
Jersey City, down at City Hall they had a Christmas display of the little
baby Jesus. No problem, right? Wrong. The A fucking CLU comes up and says,
'Hey, you can't have the little baby Jesus in a display cause it might
offend some Jew or something', and Sammy says 'Hey, no problem, just trade
out one of those three wise guys for Frosty the Snowman and we'll call it
secular'. Genius.
You want a guy like this? Of
course you do, you moron, I'm just testing you here. So yeah, Joey Stark is
telling all you guys to write your pencil-neck geek of a senator and tell
them 'Hey, confirm this guy, why doncha?'
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