Fried Green al-Qaedas



  Fried Green al-Qaedas
Last updated:
12/1/2005; 11:57:22 AM


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Thursday, November 10, 2005

"I Cannot Even Spell the Word Dell..."

It's been far too long since we last paid a visit to NewZimbabwe.com for an update on our favorite crazed dictator, President Robert Mugabe. And a short visit was long enough to convince us that he is still totally insane.

Perhaps after twenty-five years in command, he is slowing down a bit from age - In Parade magazines annual list of the world's top ten dictators, he has fallen from number five to number nine. Close, but no cigar. It's not for lack of trying, however. He still seizes private property whenever he has the chance, there's just so little left to seize. And you can only shut down the press so many times before it's seen as nothing more that a cheap ploy for attention. He has the economy humming along, with output shrinking only forty percent over the past five years, and unemployment down to seventy percent. And look at those inflation numbers - 411%, which sadly crushes his dream of bringing it down to 300% this year. Folks can't get any petrol, so they've been switching over to bicycles. The result - 1838% inflation for bikes so far this year. As one lucky retailer noted "Most people who come here do not complain about the prices, they believe it is a worthwhile investment. For us it is good business because demand is high." I suppose so.

Anyway, we checked into day to get a statement from Mugabe about US ambassador to Zimbabwe, Christopher Bell, who has criticized the well meaning dictator for the burgeoning poverty, and lack of essentials (such as food). Mugabe did not disappoint. "'I cannot even spell the word Dell with a 'D'," he quipped, "but an 'H' and that is where Dell should go." Well reasoned response, Mr. President.

I suppose it's fortunate, since we don't have the resources at the moment, but we can be grateful that at least the senile old demagogue hasn't challenged the US to war, as he did with Britain a couple of months ago. "Let them come," said the world's number nine ranked insane dictator. "We have said, sure, some people will die. But they can never conquer us. Never."
 


4:31:12 PM    comment []

   
      Admission of Nothing


 ...and now from the back of the closet comes our most ridiculous item of the day.


The liberal press has been having a field day this past week, or should I say a field week? Never mind the politically correct terminology, it is sufficient to say that the liberal press has been having a week of field days following reports that the White House has been so chastened by trumped up reports of wrong doing, that it has decided to require all staff to attend mandatory briefings on ethics rules and handling of classified information.

The left leaning Denver Post is typical of the liberal schadenfreude being echoed elsewhere throughout the secular press. Today's editorial reads in part "We applaud the notion that the administration has realized it has a problem with unethical behavior and is trying to solve it. Yet it is unsettling, to say the least, that there is a need for an ethics class in the first place - after all, the president pledged to run the most ethical administration in history."

Oh really, Denver Post? I'm afraid that all of us here at the Bill O'Reilly No Spin Christmas Store must inform you that there is no story at all here. On April 12, 1989, the first President Bush issued Executive Order 12674 which required annual mandatory ethics training for, let me quote, "all employees appointed by the President, all employees in the Executive Office of the President, all officials required to file public or nonpublic financial disclosure reports, all employees who are
contracting officers and procurement officials, and any other employees designated by the agency head
."

Now I know that this is dry, boring stuff, but sometimes you have to just wake up and smell the coffee, preferably in a No Spin Coffee Mug, which in my humble opinion is the finest mug in the world. In 1997, President Clinton signed off on CFR 2638.703(b), which required ethics training for all government employees within ninety days of their hire, and annual mandatory ethics training for all employees whose position in any way put them in position to affect the public trust. In other words, if you know anybody who works for the feds, ask them about it. Chances are they are taking it.

So there you have it. No story, just business as usual. The mainstream media is once again spinning you in order to help accomplish there loathsome agenda of embarrassing the president. The Factor wants to help you put it all in perspective. To do anything less would be ridiculous.

And it would also be ridiculous to not stop by the O'Reilly store and pick up a Spin Stops Here Tin of Soft Mint Puffs, just in time for the holidays. They're so good, they almost eat themselves.

This is Bill's jacket, asking you to join us again tomorrow on the No Spin Zone, where I once again will be appearing on Bill.


11:39:23 AM    comment []



© Copyright 2005 Mark Hoback. Click here to send an email to the editor of this weblog.
Last update: 12/1/2005; 11:57:22 AM.
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