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God Destroys Dover
The Almighty destroyed the small town of Dover, Pennsylvania
today in a storm of boiling fire. The residents had earlier
been
warned by the Reverend Pat Robertson about the possibility of a flaming
death, but few had ears with which to listen.
"Oooh, sometimes it hurts to be right," said Robertson,
speaking to FGAQ by phone. "I wish God wasn't so darn vengeful, but you know
what they say - wish in one hand and excrete in the other, and see which one
fills up quicker. When the Doverians voted the intelligent design folks out
of office, I just knew there was going to be big trouble. I could smell it.
I guess the Big Guy's motto is 'Kill 'em all, and let Darwin sort 'em out'.
Pity."
"I rounded up my family and skeedaddled, just as soon as
the votes were counted" said Tom Joiner, one of the few righteous to escape.
"Unfortunately my wife Mabel chose to look back and was turned into a block
of salt. That just doesn't seem right. But I guess in all fairness, Reverend
Robertson forgot to say anything about that. At least He took out the
Wilsons." |
