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Bush Critics Apologize
Realizing that they had pushed it just a little too far,
critics of President Bush's Iraqi fiasco swallowed their pride today and
apologized. At first Bush seemed to want to reject the apology, but finally
said "Okay, just as long as you never do it again."
"Gosh, no way, Mister President, we're thoroughly
chastened," said a shame-faced John Kerry, speaking from behind the
presidential printer/fax/copier. "I guess me and the other guys were
fallaciously emboldened by unfolding events on the world stage, and by some
twisted misfiring of our cerebral synapses we've arrived without luggage in
the scary valley of the shadowy Darth, choosing to bash you, my most exalted
potentate, rather than to hammer our own heads. For that we shall remain
eternally vigilant."
"All right, Botox Face, apology accepted."
"Please let me blow you, Mister President," said Nancy
Pelosi, a crimson hue spreading quickly cross her cheeks. "Your manhood is
as enormous as your legacy someday shall become. Not that your legacy isn't
enormous already. Whew, that's one enormous legacy, I've gotta say. Why,
your legacy is so big that people run around it for exercise. Your legacy is
so huge that when it steps on the scales anyone with even a modicum of
wisdom turns their head and coughs. Right, I know that was a little oblique.
Your legacy is so big that when it lies out on the beach, no one else gets
sun."
"It is a pretty big legacy..."
"Nancy is really speaking for all of us," said the
Reverend Al Sharpton, taking a break from shining the presidents Cole Haan
Edwin Cap Toe Crocs. "I guess sometimes we... and by 'we' I refer to the
American people at large... and how large would that be, Nancy?"
"Oh, gosh, the American people are so large that when you
climb on top of them your ears pop."
"That's right, Mister President, I'm just a humble negro
preacher, but even I know that most people would really like to see the end
times just as soon as possible, if not quicker. Me, I'd like to wait until
after the final season of The Sopranos, but yeah, whatever's convenient for
you."
"Ya'll get out of here. You're starting to freak me out." |
