Hwang Woo Suk Even Bigger Liar Than Previously Suspected
"Have a seat, Mister Woo Suk."
"Okay, but just for moment. Very busy in laboratory,
changing course of human history. New miracle on the way. Working on clone
of Mahatma Gandhi."
"Well, yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you
about."
"After Gandhi, straight ahead to John Ritter."
"Aw, jeez... Hwang, Hwang, Hwang... The jig is up,
brother. You don't have any credibility left with this university. Your stem
cells... Your frigging stem cells... You didn't make any friggin stem
cells..."
"Oh sure. Create eleven lines of human embryonic stem
cells. All genetically matched to patients. Very great achievement. Very
much acclaim."
"Bullshit, Hwang. They were all fake, man. You lied to us.
We trusted you and you lied."
"Small lie, small lie. Only nine lines fake."
"Can it, Hwang. They're all phony. And just where did you
get those eggs, anyhow."
"Ah, ah, Luanne and Ellen. Very great lab assistants.
Cream of crop. Anything for science, you know."
"Is that a fact, Hwang. Then just why do I have this
report from the Dean that says he thinks these girls were coerced?"
"No coercion, no coercion, job opportunity only."
"Well, you can tell that to the judge. And you can pack up
your test tubes and Benson burners, and get the hell on out of here as far
as I'm concerned. You know, I'm beginning to believe that you probably
didn't even clone Fluffy."
"No, no, Fluffy very real. Fluffy great accomplishment,
world's first clone dog. Next I do Rin Tin Tin."
"Forget about it, Woo Suk You've embarrassed the entire
university is what you've done. I'm having security stand right beside you
as you clean your desk out."
"No John Ritter?"
"No John Ritter, Hwang. We have to draw the line
somewhere. You suck, Woo Suk. Heh. I've been wanting to say that for the
past three years, and I finally got my chance." |
