Hey you. Yeah, you. You over there with the hair
on your head. What the bloody hell do you have in your pocket? Best be one
of these, my muckers, or I'm liable to give you a sound reefing.
It's the new American Express
Red Card is what it is, a bleedin' deadly idea for all you blokes on the
go. American Express is the one card that's gladly accepted all over the
blindin' world, and it's protected so if the manky bad guys should get their
hands on your card, American Express will put it all straight, that's what
they'll do.
So, Bono, get on down off your high horse,
why don't you, who do you think you are, telling me what card I should have
in me wallet. And what's it to you if I just want to use me own barney
dillons for my day to day purchases?
Well I'll tell you what it is to me. The
American Express Red Card is better than paper. It'll help you make the
world a better place by donating a portion of your purchase price directly
to the Global Fund to Fight Aids, Tuberculosis and Malaria. We can't do it
just with governments alone. That's complete rubbish. We're fighting a fire.
The house is burning down. Let's get the water. Or better yet, lets get the
American Express Red Card.
So, here's how it work. Every time you use
Red, American Express donates 1% of the purchase price to the Global Fund.
One percent, you squawk, what bloody good is that going to do. Bollocks!
Settle down there, mate. Just imagine if every time you bought a pack of
fags, you paid for it with Red. By the end of the year, you would have
raised at least ten quid for the fight against AIDS. Way to go, old skin.
And if you paid your pub bill with Red as well, the mind just friggin'
boggles.
Now I've talked to my old mate Mark down at
Fried Green al-Qaedas, and he tells me the States don't have a Red card yet.
He talked to American Express, and they told him they don't even have a plan
to offer one. That's some can of piss, is what that is. No plans? They
wouldn't even give him a bloody email in the States where one could express
their desire to get one. So if you want to do your part while not really
having to do much at all, your best bet is to write to
info@joinred.com and tell them
'Hey mate, I want a Red card too, how about getting on the ball, or am I to
come down there and give you a right thrashing?' Take a moment and do it.
In the War on AIDS, it's better Red than
dead. |
