|
Take a gander at
what we've got ourselves here. Looks to me like a Supreme Court justice.
Yep, that's what we've got all right. He's just got that air about him, the
smell of the law. Looks like he's wearing a robe even when he's wearing a
suit. Boy, was I ever surprised when he showed up hear wearing the same
thing as me. Good thing I had a spare tie, or it would have been too darn
cute - Karl would have never let me live it down.
He looks like
he's about to say something, but he's just staring off into space. Well, I'm
not going to be the first one to talk, that'd set a bad precedent. Besides,
he won't even make eye contact. Squirrelly lookin guy, I gotta say. Sure
wouldn't be my first choice for the Supreme Court. Bet he's never pitched a
horseshoe in his life. Maybe he's asleep... No, there goes the lip twitching
thing again... Oh good, here comes Roberts. I'll just stand here and let
Johnny boy
swear him in.
"Hey, Sam, congratulations.
Welcome to the club."
"What club?"
"You know, the Supreme Court.
Congratulations."
"The Supreme Court is not a
club. It is the highest rung of the judicial branch of our great nation, a
body with the responsibility of judicial review as decided in Marbury verses
Madison."
"Whatever."
Wow, what a
stick in the mud. This guy is a real barrel of laughs. I should have stuck
with Harriett, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, but what do I do, I listen
to Dick, and start second guessing myself, and now here I am with Mister
Sunshine.
"Okay, Judge, ready to take the
oath? Repeat after me. I Sam Alito..."
"I Samuel Anthony Alito, Jr...."
"Do solemnly swear that I will
administer justice..."
"I will not swear, Justice
Roberts. It is not my nature. I will, however, be willing to pledge."
"Fine, go ahead."
"By tradition of the court, I
must ask you to restate your last sentence."
"Okay, okay. Do solemnly pledge
that I will administer justice..."
"Do solemnly pledge that I will
administer justice..."
"Without respect to persons and
do equal right to the poor and to the rich..."
"Bwa ha ha ha... Sorry. Without
respect to persons and do equal right to the poor and to the rich..."
"That is kind of funny, isn't
it? I don't know why the heck they put that line in there. ...and that I
will faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all the duties
incumbent upon me..."
"Bwa ha ha ha... Sorry, it's
just that that line sounded kind of dirty to me. ...and that I will
faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all the doodies incumbent
upon me..."
Did he just
say doodie?
"According to my abilities and
understanding agreeably to the Constitution and laws of the United States."
"According to my abilities and
the rest of the line doesn't make any literal sense at all. But never mind,
I'll play along. And understanding agreeably to the Constitution and laws of
the United States."
"So help me God."
"You bet."
"That's it. See you in court."
I stand in awe
of the democratic process. It's a wonderful thing. Boring, but wonderful.
Well, I guess it's time to hit the old pastry tray. I wonder if Tinkerbell
here is going to talk to me now. I know I'm not going to be first.
|
