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Following Tuesday night's State
of the Union debacle where both Iraq war protester Cindy Sheehan and
congressional spouse Beverly Young were ejected from the House gallery for
wearing t-shirts emblazoned with opinions
statements words, Congress is ready to take up new legislation that
would allow the wearing of t-shirts at any governmental function as long as
the t-shirts were all white.
"It's an elegant, timeless
classic," said Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia. "When I think of the
white T, I think of the young and handsome Marlon Brando shouting out for
his Stella in what, perhaps, is the greatest t-shirt moment of them all".
"Yo yo yo, gramps, make way for
the PatMan," interrupted whippersnapper Patrick McHenry, who at 30 is the
youngest member of congress. "Us young dudesare all about the white Ts. My
dawg Eminem wears one, and sometimes Fiddy does too. It's all about keepin
it real."
"And you can express yourself
without offending anyone, as long as you write it in white," explained
presidential hopeful Senator Sam Brownback from Kansas. "For example, my
t-shirt says 'Church and State is just like Chocolate and Peanut Butter'.
But unless you caught it in the right light, you would think I had no
opinion whatsoever."
"I like that in a t-shirt,"
agreed spitfire New York congresswoman Nydia Velázquez. "My shirt says
'Dismantle the Bush Regime', but if you get close enough to read that, I'm
going to slap you silly." |
