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woof
"Woof, woof, the woof is on fire, we don't
need no water let the motherfucker burn. Woof, woof, the woof is on fire,
we don't..."
"Pardon me, Sahij, but I believe that the
correct words to the song are 'the roof is on fire."
"And exactly how would that relate to a
dog, Ahmad?"
"I fear I do not understand your
question..."
"The flaming dog of the infidels, you man
who does not hear. The song addresses the incineration of western
decadence. These beasts dare to insult our prophet Mohammed by putting him
in a cartoon, as though he were a Snoopy dog. What about that concept do
you find so difficult to understand?"
"A thousand pardons, Sahij. I've heard that
song a million times and I always thought they were saying roof... but...
Roof does kind of work here since we're burning the Danish embassy and
all..."
"You are right, Ahmad. Look! The roof is
on fire."
"Yes, glorious isn't it? Praise Allah."
"That goes without saying. And don't forget
the Prophet. That's the reason we're here today."
"Indeed, Sahij. It is a wonderful thing to
live in a country such as Syria where we have the freedom to express our
religious outrage. You know, I have to pinch myself that we have such
great and good fortune as to have three embassies in one the way we do
here. The Norwegian portion in now on fire as well."
"Woof, woof, burn motherfucker, we don't
need no water let the motherfucker burn."
"Roof, roof. I thought we were in
accordance on the matter of the lyrics."
"Not me, Ahmad. I like the traditional
lyrics. Say, I was thinking about Chile..."
"An excellent idea, Sahij. I too could go
for a delicious bowl of hot steaming chili, accompanied perhaps with a
cold frothy Brada Lite or two."
"Hold your tongue, Ahmad. Why would you
settle for a Brada Lite when the canteen next door has Al-Sharqs on ice?"
"Al-Sharqs? Oh, and now you seek to get all
fancy with me and drink Al-Sharqs. In the Prophet's name, I swear to you
that not even Allah himself would drink a
Syrian beer. Why
not go all the way and go to the Akbar Lounge at the Damascus Marriott? It
is said that if you make the sign of the thirsty camel they will fill your
mug with smuggled Heineken."
"Can your words be true? Surely the
government would be aware of such an operation."
"Ha. I laugh. Half the tables at the Akbar
are filled with government officials. Sahij?"
"Yes, Ahmad."
"They say that the beers are served by
unveiled women."
"Then let us depart. Our work here is
done."
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